§. 54. Of husbands

allowing their wiues to beſtow on others, as they ſee good occaſion. to §. 63. Of the truth of husbands loue.

§. 54. Of husbands

allowing their wiues to beſtow on others, as they ſee good occaſion.

So farre ought the prouident care of an husband for his wife to extend, as ſhe may haue (beſide things needfull to her ſelfe) to beſtow on ſuch as it is requiſite for her to giue vnto: as namely, on children and ſeruants in the houſe, and others alſo out of the houſe. For ſo much is noted in Salomons deſcription of a good wife; She giueth meat to her houſhold, and a portion to her maidens: all her houſhold is clothed with ſcarlet (namely, by her ordering and diſpoſing the matter.) Her children riſe vp and call her bleſſed, as for her generall cariage in the family, ſo for her particular fauours beſtowed on themſelues. As for others out of the houſe, it is alſo noted, that ſhe ſtretcheth out her hand to the poore, and reacheth forth her hands to the needie. Theſe things ſhe did by virtue of that power and liberty which her husband gaue her: as appeareth by two points there noted:

1. In that before any mention is made of thoſe things which ſhe did, it is ſaid, The heart of her husband doth ſafely truſt in her.

2. In that, after all her good deedes are reckoned vp, it is ſaid, Her husband praiſeth her.

After this patterne it is meete that other husbands (whoſe wiues are wiſe and faithfull) ſhould deale with their wiues: that in the houſe they might haue the more honour of children and ſeruants: and that out of the houſe they might giue the better tryall of their charity.

For conſidering the many excellent promiſes that are made to workes of mercy and charity, and the many terrible threatnings that are denounced not onely againſt ſuch as exerciſe cruelty, but alſo againſt ſuch as ſhew no mercy: conſidering alſo that wiues together with their husbands, are heires of the

grace of life, it is very needfull yea euen neceſſary, that they ſhould manifeſt their faith by ſome worke of mercy and charity. Now vnleſſe her husband doe giue vnto her ſomething at her owne diſcretion to beſtow on others, true and through

try all of her mercifull and charitable minde cannot be made. If ſhe giue of that which her husband hath reſerued to himſelfe, as her giuing is vnlawfull, ſo ſhe may be thought liberall, not becauſe ſhe is mercifull, but becauſe notwithſtanding her liberality ſhe parteth with nothing of her owne: yea though ſhe haue a generall conſent to giue as ſhe ſeeth cauſe of the common goods of the family, yet is not that ſo ſure and ſound a tryall of her charity, and mercifulneſſe, as if ſhe had ſomething of her owne which ſhe might retaine or giue away as pleaſeth her ſelfe; and what ſhe giues not away, lay vp as her owne ſtocke proper to her ſelfe. For there is naturally ſuch a ſelfe loue in man, and a deſire to keepe that which is proper to ones ſelfe, that he is very loath to part with any of it, vnleſſe conſcience and grace alter this corruption of nature, and ſo moue him readily to lay out ſomething on charitable vſes. But otherwiſe of that which in whole or in part belongeth to another (be that other, husband, parent, maſter, friend, or any elſe) he is eaſily moued to be liberall and bountifull: a man will willingly cut a large thong (as we ſpeake) out of anothers leather.

It is knowne that many children and ſeruants, who, when they come to be poſſeſſers of their owne, are very niggards and miſers, haue beene liberall of their parents and maſters goods vnto the poore. Yea parteners in a ſtocke will be much more forward in giuing away that which is common with another, then that which is proper to each of them. The trueſt triall of a mercifull and charitable heart lieth in the diſtribution of that which is proper to ones ſelfe.

It is therefore meet vpon this very ground, that an husband ſhould according to his ability let his wife haue ſome ſtocke, and portion of her owne, free to her ſelfe to diſpoſe as ſhe ſeeth good: intimating vnto her that the principall end why he prouideth ſo plentifully for her, is, that ſhe may ſhew forth the fruits of her faith by ſome workes of charity: and exhorting her ſo to doe. Many religious, wiſe, kinde husbands thus doe: ſome giuing quarterly allowance in money to their wiues, others giuing their wiues power to receiue a certaine portion of rent out of certaine lands or houſes; others making

their wiues an abſolute eſtate of ſome inheritance, and ſuffering them to receiue the profits and reuenewes thereof; others giuing them certaine fees of their offices, or of their trade; others, that are poore, ſuffering them to worke for themſelues, & diſpoſe their earnings as they ſee cauſe: ſome one way, ſome another: euery one in his place beſt knoweth the meanes how to gratifie his wife in this kinde: it ſhall be ſufficient for me to haue laide downe the generall rule.

§. 55. Of husbands too great ſtraitneſſe ouer their wiues.

Contrary is their ſtrait-handedneſſe to their wiues, who allow them no more then may be for their owne priuat vſe. They thinke it a great matter and as much as an husband is bound to doe, to let her haue apparrell, meat and drinke, and ſuch neceſſaries as are befitting her ranke, but all other ouerplus they thinke needleſſe. Thus their wiues are not only depriued of meanes to gaine reſpect of their children and ſeruants at home, and to gratifie ſuch as are obedient and ready to doe ſeruice to them, but alſo to performe ſuch workes of mercie as both opportunity requireth, and alſo their conſcience moueth them to doe. Yea many wiues of rich huſbands are brought to great ſhame hereby, in that being in places where there is iuſt occaſion of contributing to ſome charitable vſe, and by reaſon of their rich and coſtly apparell it is expected they ſhould be bountiful, they haue not any thing at all to beſtow. The fault of ſome husbands in this reſpect is great many waies. As 1. in that they bring ſhame and griefe to their wiues, whom they ought with all tenderneſſe to reſpect. 2. In that they diſhonour their owne places: for they who take notice of this ſtraitneſſe to their wiues, will be ready to iudge them both couetous, and vnkinde. 3. The omitting of that worke of mercie which their wiues ſhould haue done ſhall be laid to their charge: they ſhall heare that dreadfull doome; Goe yee curſed into euerlaſting fire, for I was an hungred and yee fed me not &c. and if they anſwer, When ſaw we thee an hungred &c. it ſhall be replied, In that yee ſuffered not your wiues to doe it, you did it not.

Thus much of the extent of an husbands prouident care

for the good of his wife. It followeth to ſpeake of the continuance thereof.

§. 57. Of an husbands care to prouide for his wife ſo long as ſhe ſhall liue.

The continuance of an husbands prouident care for his wife muſt be ſo long as ſhe liueth, yea though ſhe out-liue him: not that he can actually when he is dead prouide for her, but that he may before his death ſo prouide for her, as ſhe may haue wherewithall to maintaine her ſelfe, and to liue according to that place whereunto by him ſhe is aduanced: at leaſt that he leaue her not only ſo much as he had with her, but ſomething more alſo in teſtimony of his loue to her, and care for her. Husbands haue the example of Chriſt to preſſe this duty vpon them: for when he went away from his Church here on earth, he left his ſpirit, which furniſhed it with gifts as plentifully, as if Chriſt had ſtill remained with her, if not more aboundantly.

For the better performance of this duty, husbands which die before the wiues, muſt obſerue among other things two eſpecially.

1. That plainly and expreſly they declare their minde and will before they die, leſt their wiues ſhould be circumuented and defrauded of that which they intended them. Thus did Dauid vpon the motion of Bathſhebah, he ſetled his eſtate, and cauſed Bathſhebahs ſonne to be actually crowned before he himſelfe gaue vp the Ghoſt: which he did, as for other weighty reaſons, ſo in particular for his wiues good, as may be gathered from that reaſon ſhe alleaged to the King in theſe words; Elſe when my Lord the King ſhall ſleepe-with his fathers, I ſhall be reputed vile.

2. That he requeſt ſome faithfull friend in his ſteed to be an helper vnto her; (as Chriſt commended his mother vnto his diſciple Iohn) which will be needfull in regard of her weakneſſe, by reaſon of her ſex, and want of experience to manage ſuch affaires eſpecially as are out of the houſe.

At the time of a mans departure out of this world from his wife, will the trueſt triall of his affection to his wife be giuen: for many that beare their wiues faire in hand while they liue

with them, at their death ſhew that there was no ſoundneſſe of affection in their heart towards them: all was but a meere ſhew for ſome by-reſpects.

§. 58. Of husbands neglect of their wiues future eſtate.

Contrary are diuers practiſes of vnkinde husbands. For

1. Some through improuidence, vnthriftineſſe and prodigality, diſable themſelues from doing good to their wiues after their death; and ſo leaue their wiues nothing, or (that which is worſe then nothing) in debt, and with a great charge of children. That care which husbands ought to haue of their wiues ſhould make them thinke before hand of the time to come, and euen for their wiues ſake be ſome-what the more diligent, thrifty, and prouident, and cut off many vnneceſſary expences, elſe their ſinne is doubled. 1. By a needleſſe waſting their eſtate. 2. By neglecting their wiues.

2. Others by fawning, or forcing meanes draw their wiues to yeeld vp that intereſt they haue in money, goods, houſe or land by ioynter, inheritance, or any other way, and yet make them no ſufficient recompence in another kinde: but at their death leaue their wiues in a farre worſe eſtate then they were in before mariage, beſide a greater charge then they had before. As this is a great part of vnkindneſſe, ſo alſo a maine point of iniuſtice.

3. Others grudging againſt the lawes vnder which they [gap]iue for prouiding for a wife by thirds or otherwiſe, vſe all the [gap]raudulent meanes they can to depriue her of that which otherwiſe the law would lay vpon her. The ciuill politique awes of the place where we liue ought to be the rule of our ciuill actions (ſo farre as they are not repugnant to Gods word) and we ought for conſcience ſake to be ſubiect vnto them. Beſides an husband ought (though the law forced him [gap]ot) to leaue at leaſt the thirds to his wife, as a teſtimony of his loue to her, and care for her: ſo as this alſo is a dou [gap]le fault. 1. A tranſgreſſion of the law. 2. A note of vn [gap]indneſſe.

4. Orthers hauing aged and ſickly wiues, or otherwiſe [gap]hinking that their wiues may, or rather hoping that their [gap]iues will die before themſelues, put off the making of their

wills of purpoſe that they might not put in their wiues thirds, but diſpoſe them ſome other way. Beſides that theſe husbands ſhew no good affection towards their wiues, they prouoke God to diſappoint them of their hopes: and ſo he doth often-times: for he taketh them away before their wiues, and ſo taketh them away, as hauing no time to make their will, not only their wiues enioy their thirds (which they ſo much deſired to auoid) but alſo ſome other (whom of all in their life time they miſliked) ſeaze vpon the other two parts.

§. 58. Of an husbands protecting his wife from danger.

Hauing ſhewed how an husband is to prouide things needfull for his wife: It remaineth to ſhew how he is to protect her from things hurtfull.

In regard of that protection which an husband oweth his wife, he is called the veile of her eies: which phraſe as it implieth Subiection on the wiues part, ſo alſo Protection on the huſbands: to protect one, is as it were, to couer them, namely, from danger; to be negligent and careleſſe of them, is, as it were, to lay them open to danger. The ſame duty is implied vnder another like phraſe of ſpreading his wing ouer his wife. The metaphor is taken from winged fowles, which to keepe their young ones from hurt, vſe to ſpread their wings ouer them: this phraſe and metaphor is alſo attributed to God, to ſet forth his protection.

But moſt pertinent to this purpoſe is the title, Saniour, giuen to an husband in relation to his wife.

For this end the Lord who ſubiected a woman vnto her husband, gaue to his ſexe greater ſtrength, courage and boldneſſe then to hers, that he might protect her which is the weaker veſſell. In this duty of protection Chriſt ſheweth himſelfe an excellent patterne and preſident vnto husbands.

The better to performe this dutie, an husband muſt bee carefull,

1. To preuent, as much as he may, ſuch dangers as his wiſe is like to fall into.

2. To recouer her out of ſuch as ſhe is fallen into.

For this purpoſe did Dauid carry his wiues into Gath, leſt, if they were left in Iſrael, Saul ſhould worke them ſome miſchiefe:

and againe, when they were taken by the Amalakites, he recouered them.

According to that danger whereunto wiues are ſubiect, muſt an husbands care of protecting his wife be manifeſted.

1. If ſhe be in danger to be ſeduced and inticed, as Euah was, by any euill inſtruments of the deuill, as Ieſuits, Prieſts, Friers, profane, blaſphemous, laſciuious, or riotous perſons; his care muſt be either to keepe them away that they come not at her, or to put them away from her ſo ſoone as he can: he may not ſuffer them to harbour in his houſe.

2. If by any ſleight ſhe be drawne from his houſe, he muſt ſeeke her, and fetch her againe, as the Leuite did his wife: or cauſe her (if he can) to be brought home againe, as Dauid cauſed Michal to be brought: eſpecially if they be taken away by force, as Ahinoam, and Abigail, Dauids wiues, were.

3. If ſhe be vniuſtly ſlandered, he is to maintaine her credit and reputation as much as his owne: as Chriſt accounteth himſelfe deſpiſed, when his Church is, ſo muſt he. This care muſt he haue of his wiues credit, euen after her death, as well as while ſhe liueth.

4. What other miſchiefe ſo euer is intended or practiſed againſt her, he muſt be a tower of defence to protect her, (as Ahoſhueroſh was to Eſter againſt Haman) and that not only againſt ſtrangers without the houſe, but alſo againſt children and ſeruants in the houſe. Children growne to yeeres, that are ſtout and ſtubborne, will be ready to riſe vp againſt their mother, eſpecially if ſhe be a mother in law, becauſe ſhe is the weaker ſex: the countenance of a father for the moſt part keepeth moſt in awe. Wherefore the husband muſt be an helpe to his wife, and maintaine her honour againſt them: yea though they be children of a former wife.

§. 59. Of an husbands maintaining his wife againſt children of a former venter, and ſeruants.

Obiect. Mothers in law often proue vnkinde, and vniuſt ſtepmothers, and deale vnmercifully with their husbands children: muſt an husband in ſuch caſes aſſiſt his wife againſt his children?

Anſw. The protection, I ſpeake of, is in caſe a wife be wronged, then her husband is to doe what he can to right her (as we ſpeake.) But if ſhe be the wrong-doer, he may by no meanes boulſter

her vp againſt his children, and ſo make their wrong the greater. Yet ſo far ought he to reſpect his wife, as by all the faire meanes he can, to labour to pacific her minde, and turne her heart towards them: and if he obſerue her heart to be cleane alienated from them, then to put them forth to be brought vp in ſome other place, and ſo to take away from her the obiect of her diſpleaſure, that he and ſhe may liue more quietly together. For if a man muſt forſake father and mother, he muſt alſo forſake children, and cleaue to his wife. Peace and vnitie betwixt man and wife muſt of all other be kept inuiolable. Though thou caſt away

all, nothing can happen more troubleſome to thee then not to haue a quiet wife at home. Thou canſt finde no ſinne more grieuous then to haue contention with a wife.

If a wife muſt be maintained againſt the ſtubbornneſſe of children, much more againſt the inſolencie of ſeruants: for which purpoſe the example of Abraham is recorded, whoſe ſeruant might haue a priuiledge aboue others, becauſe he had made her his bedfellow; yet when ſhe waxed inſolent againſt her miſtreſſe, firſt he put her into her miſtreſſes hand to doe to her as it pleaſed her; and afterwards he caſt her out of his houſe.

§. 60. Of neglecting to maintaine their wiues.

Contrary is a diſſolute careleſneſſe of husbands, who care no more to helpe and ſuccour their wiues then any other.

1. Some more feare to offend their wiues then they care to doe them good, and in that reſpect they let any ſort of people come to their wiues that are welcome to them. If Magiſtrates in a Common-wealth ſhall anſwer for ſuffering ſeducers to come into their dominions to deceiue their people, much more ſhall husbands anſwer for ſuffering them to come and deceiue their wiues.

• 1. Becauſe they haue a greater charge ouer their wiues then Magiſtrates ouer their people.

• 2. Becauſe wiues ought to be dearer to husbands then people to Magiſtrates.

• 3. Becauſe they may ſooner eſpie them in their houſe, then Magiſtrates in the Common-wealth.

• 4. Becauſe they may be much more eaſily kept out of an houſe, then out of a Common-wealth, or a Citie.

2. Others care not whither their wiues wander: and if they

doe goe out of their houſe, they ſhall neuer be ſought after by their husbands: though this may be a iuſt puniſhment on wandring wiues, yet is it not iuſt for husbands ſo to deale with them. If Chriſt our husband ſhould ſo deale with vs, we ſhould ſoone be loſt: for wee oft goe aſtray like wandring ſheepe, but hee is that good ſhepherd, who ſeeketh after the loſt ſheepe vntill he finde it.

3. No maruell then that many husbands are no more affected with the ill reports and rumors raiſed againſt their wiues, when they ſo little regard who come to them, or whither they goe. Aſſuredly the diſcredit of a wife will turne to the mans diſhonour: for as a vertuous wife is a crowne to her husband, ſo by the rule of contraries, an infamous wife is a ſhame to her husband. If therefore not for his wiues ſake, yet for his owne ſake a man ought not too careleſly paſſe ouer the ill reports which are raiſed againſt his wife.

4. There be ſuch vnkinde husbands as are moued with no ill vſage done vnto their wiues, nor will heare any complaint that they make vnto them: yea if they ſee them miſuſed, they will either not ſeeme to ſee it, or but ſmile at it, and ſo goe their way, and ſuffer their wiues to right themſelues as well as they can. As this beſeemeth not any Chriſtian to ſuffer his neighbour to be wronged, (for it is noted as a commendable matter in Moſes, that when he ſaw two Hebrewes ſtriuing together, he tooke his part that had wrong done to him, and reproued the other) ſo much [gap]eſſe an husband, to whoſe ſafe-guard his wife is committed. Nature teacheth vs that the head is as much affected with a wrong [gap]one to the bodie, as to it ſelfe: ſo ought an husband.

5. As the wrong which is done by thoſe who are in ſubiection [gap]n the houſe vnder the wife, is greater then that which is done by [gap]trangers: ſo is the husbands fault the greater in ſuffering it: for [gap]e hath more power ouer them in his houſe, then ouer others. What then may we thinke of ſuch, as either by their conniuence, [gap]r by taking part againſt their wiues, ſuffer both children and ſer [gap]ants to inſult ouer them? Aſſuredly thoſe husbands themſelues will finde ſome ſmacke of the bitter and euill fruit thereof: [gap]d that not only by that great diſcontent which their wiues muſt [gap]eeds take thereat; but alſo by that contempt which will follow

on their owne perſons, both by their wiues (who cannot thinke them meet heads to gouerne others) but alſo by their children and ſeruants, who thereby will take occaſion to waxe proud, and preſumptuous againſt him. By deſpiſing the weaker, men grow by little and little to deſpiſe the ſtronger. This men of wiſdome and experience well know: whereupon in Common-wealths and Policies gouerned by wiſe men, the authoritie of inferiour Magiſtrates is vpheld and maintained: ſuperiour Magiſtrates will not ſuffer them who are in authoritie vnder them to be deſpiſed: for it is well knowne, that it tends not to the honour and eaſe only, but to the ſafetie alſo of the ſupreme Magiſtrate, to haue the power and authoritie of inferiour Magiſtrates reſpected, and not trampled vnder feet. It argueth therefore both want of affection, and of diſcretion and vnderſtanding in husbands, to ſuffer childe, ſeruant, or any other in the houſe, to inſult ouer their wiues, who are ioynt gouernours with them ouer the houſe.

§. 61. Of an husbands firſt beginning to loue his wife.

The generall matter together with the particular kindes of husbands duties being thus farre handled, The manner alſo of performing them is to be deliuered.

To inſtruct an husband in the manner of performing his duties to his wife, the Apoſtle laieth downe two patternes, 1. Chriſt, verſ. 25.

2. Our ſelues, verſ. 28.

As Chriſt loueth his Church, and as we loue our ſelues, ſo muſt men loue their wiues.

That we may the better follow theſe patternes, we muſt diſtinctly note how Chriſt loueth his Church, and how we loue our ſelues.

The loue of Chriſt to his Church is commended vnto vs in ſix ſeuerall points: which are

1. The order

4. The qualitie

thereof.

2. The truth

5. The quantitie

3. The cauſe

6. The continuance

I. For the Order, Chriſt began to loue his Church: he mafeſted his loue to her before ſhe loued him: as the aire heated by the Sunne is hote, and a wall on which the Sun-beames

ſmite, giueth a reflexion of heat backe againe: ſo the Church, as it were heated and warmed at heart by the ſence of Chriſts loue, loued him, as the Apoſtle expreſly noteth, (We loue him

becauſe he loued vs firſt:) and the Church her ſelfe acknowledgeth ſaying, Becauſe of the ſauour of thy good ointments (wherewith we are reuiued, and cheered) the virgins loue thee.

There is in vs by nature no ſparke of loue at all: if Chriſt by his louing of vs firſt, did not inſtill loue into vs, we could no more loue him then a liuing bird riſe out of a cold egge, if it were not kept warme by the dammes ſitting vpon it.

Thus muſt an husband firſt begin to loue his wife. His place of eminencie, and authority requireth, that he ſhould be to his wife, a guide, which title is expreſly giuen to him by the holy Ghoſt, to teach him to goe before her, and by his example to inſtruct, and incite her to doe her dutie. What a ſhame would it be for a man who is the Image and glory of God, the head of his wife, in the ſame place to her that Chriſt is to his Church, to be prouoked by his wiues wiue-like carriage (ſhe being the weaker veſſell, vnder him, to learne of him) to loue her? Reaſons there be to ſtirre vp a wife to indeauour to preuent her husband in doing her dutie, which if ſhe doe, it is the greater glory to her; but this patterne of Chriſt ſhould ſtirre him much more to ſtriue to goe before her.

§. 62. Of husbands repaying vnkindneſſe for loue.

Contrary, is their diſpoſition, who hauing louing and dutifull wiues, are notwithſtanding nothing moued to loue them againe: but are as vnkinde and churliſh as if they had the moſt [gap]eeuiſh, and peruerſe wiues that could be. But what ſhall we ſay of ſuch as loue their wiues the leſſe, yea and hate them for their forwardneſſe to loue, and (in teſtimony of true loue) to performe all good dutie? What, but that they are very deuils [gap]ncarnate? For it is the deuils property to ouercome good with cuill. Theſe make the doctrine of a wiues ſubiection to ſeeme harſh, and a carefull performance thereof, an heauy burden. Neuer ſhall they partake of Chriſts loue, that in their place [gap]ew themſelues ſo vnlike to Chriſt.

§. 63. Of the truth of husbands loue.

II. The truth of Chriſts loue was manifeſted by the fruits thereof to his Church: He gaue himſelfe for it. It was therefore not in word only, no nor only in heart, but in deed alſo. Thus his loue proued profitable, and beneficiall to his Church, which thereby was clenſed, and made a glorious

Church. Had he only borne a tender compaſſion and pittifull affection towards it, or laboured only with comfortable and ſweet words to vphold and ſuccour it, it had ſtill laine polluted with ſinne, in the power of the deuill, and vnder Gods wrath, and ſo receiued no profit and benefit at all.

So muſt husbands loue their wiues in truth and in deed.

Such a loue is required of a man to his brother: much more therefore to his wife, who is not only a ſiſter (as the Apoſtle expreſly ſtileth her) but neerer then ſiſter, mother, daughter, friend, or any other whatſoeuer. This therefore ſerueth to preſſe the practiſe of all the forenamed duties appertaining to an husband.