§. 64. Of husbands diſſimulation. to §. 73. Of husbands variableneſſe.

§. 64. Of husbands diſſimulation.

Contrary is their diſſimulation and hypocriſie, who make great ſhew of much loue, and pretence of earneſt affection, vſing many outward complements, but faile when they come to the trueſt triall, the deed. Some like ſuters or wooers, will promiſe mountaines, but not performe moul-hills: others will coll and kiſſe their wiues much, but truſt them with nothing, nor prouide for them things requiſite: there be that will weepe much when their wiues are ſicke, yet not afford phyſicke and ſuch like things for their recouery: yea many will carrie a faire face all their life long towards their wiues, and at their death leaue them nothing to liue by.

Hence it is that many who by others are accounted to be very kinde husbands, are by their wiues found to be farre otherwiſe. If triall be made of husbands loue by their practiſe and performance of the forenamed duties, it will be found that they for the moſt part come as farre ſhort in loue, as wiues in ſubiection.

§. 65. Of the freeneſſe of husbands loue.

III. The cauſe of Chriſts loue, was his loue, as Moſes noteth, He ſet his loue on you, becauſe he loued you. His loue aroſe only, and wholly from himſelfe, and was euery way free: as there was nothing in the Church, before Chriſt loued her to moue him to loue her, ſo can there be nothing that he could hope for afterwards, but what himſelfe beſtowed. Indeed he delighteth in that righteouſneſſe wherewith, as with a glorious robe, ſhe is clothed; and with thoſe heauenly graces, wherewith as with pretious Iewels ſhe is decked: but that righteouſneſſe, and thoſe graces are his owne, and of his free gift, He preſents it to himſelfe a glorious Church.

In imitation hereof husbands ſhould loue their wiues, though there were nothing in wiues to moue them ſo to doe, but only that they are their wiues: yea though no future benefit could after be expected from them: true loue hath reſpect to the obiect which is loued, and the good it may doe thereunto, rather then to the ſubiect which loueth, and the good that it may receiue. For loue ſeeketh not her owne.

Chriſts loue in this branch thereof ſhould further moue husbands to doe what lieth in their power, to make their wiues worthy of loue: thus will it be in truth ſaid, that they dwell with their wiues according to knowledge: and thus will their [gap]oue appeare to be as Chriſts loue, free.

§. 66. Of husbands louing for aduantage.

Contrary is their loue which is only for their owne content [gap]nd aduantage. Many can loue no further then they may haue [gap]ome bait to allure their affections, as beauty, wealth, honour, [gap]r the like by-reſpects; or at leaſt hope of ſome inheritance or [gap]ortion aboue that which they haue, or of ſome fauour that they [gap]xpect from their wiues friends. This cannot be a true ſound [gap]ue: ſuch a man may be thought to loue his wiues beautie, [gap]heritance, and friends rather then his wife. This loue cannot laſt.

§. 67. Of the puritie of husbands loue.

IIII. Chriſts loue for the qualitie is an holy, pure, chaſte, [gap]ue: as he himſelfe is, ſo is his loue, as is euident by the [gap]fect thereof: for it moued him to ſanctifie and clenſe his

Church, to make it a glorious Church without ſpot: he did therefore no way pollute or defile his Spouſe: and that his loue might the better appeare to be chaſte loue, caſt only vpon one Spouſe and not many, he vnited all his Saints together by the bond of his Spirit, and made them all one body.

Hereby husbands muſt learne ſo to be affected towards their wiues as may ſtand with holineſſe, and chaſtitie: though much loue be required, yet it may not ouer-flowe thoſe banks. Mariage is honourable and a bed vndefiled. It muſt therefore be vſed as an vndefiled thing. This indeed appertaineth to the wife as well as to the husband. But becauſe he is the head, and guide of his wife, and ought to be as a patterne and preſident before her, as Chriſt is before him, therefore is it more ſpecially applied to him. The puritie of an husbands loue here ſpoken of, hath a double vſe,

1. It reſtraineth an husbands loue to his owne wife. There is a generall Chriſtian loue whereby all occaſions of doing good are taken, with which an husband may, and ought to loue others: and a particular matrimoniall loue, whereby he is moued to preferre his wife before all, and to haue his heart ſet and fixed on her, and ſo proper and peculiar to her.

2. It orders and moderates his loue, ſo as it turneth not into ſinfull luſt, whereby that eſtate, (which in it ſelfe by vertue of Gods ordinance, is holy) is polluted.

§. 68. Of husbands lightneſſe.

Contrary, is not only adulterie, whereof we haue ſpoken before, but alſo wantonneſſe, lightneſſe, and vncleanneſſe with his wife. For many intemperate and vnchaſte husbands, giuing the raines to their headſtrong luſts, manifeſt as much vnſeemlineſſe and plaine filthineſſe in their words, geſtures, and actions (to ſay nothing of their thoughts which are not ſeene) to their wiues, as other doe to ſtrumpets and harlots which is a moſt ſhameleſſe thing, and I am euen aſhamed [gap] mention: but becauſe it is mentioned, let ſuch know, th[gap] they ſhall be accounted among ſuch whoremongers and adul[gap] rers

as God will iudge.

§. 69. Of husbands louing their wiues more then themſelues.

The quantity of Chriſts loue cannot be expreſſed: for the meaſure of it was aboue meaſure. He gaue himſelfe for his Church, and in that reſpect he calleth himſelfe that Good ſheepheard that gaue his life for his ſheepe.

Greater loue then this hath no man. What will not he doe for his ſpouſe, that gaue his life for her?

This may ſeeme to be too high a ſtraine, and pitch of loue for an husband to attaine vnto: a matter wherein he is to [gap]eaue his patterne, and not to follow Chriſt: but yet S. Iohn addeth euen this extent to the loue of our brethren: We ought ſaith he) to lay downe our liues for the brethren: therefore by [gap]uſt conſequence for our wiues. But that this extent be not ſtretched too farre, and husbands caſt into a pit of needleſſe [gap]erill, two cautions muſt be noted,

1. That there be an abſolute neceſſity, to bring vs to this [gap]raite of parting with our life: which is, when the good we [gap]ime at in the behalfe of our wiues cannot any other way be [gap]ffected, but by venturing our life. There was no other way [gap] redeeme the Church, but by the bloud of Chriſt.

2. That the good we intend in this caſe to our wiues be of [gap]reater valew then our temporall life: as is the good of her [gap]ule, the ſauing of it. Thus the Apoſtle ſaith, I will moſt gladly beſtowed for your ſoules. Which minde men muſt much more [gap]rie towards their wiues. It was for our ſaluation that Chriſt [gap]ue himſelfe.

§. 70. Of husbands vnkindneſſe.

Contrary is their vnkindneſſe that preferre euery trifle of [gap]eir owne before the good of their wiues: their profit, their [gap]eaſure, their promotion, cleane draw away their hearts and [gap]fections from their wiues. If any extraordinary charge muſt [gap] laid out, or pains taken for their wiues good, little loue [gap]ll then appeare: whereby it appeares that there was no true [gap]d ſound loue ſetled in their hearts towards their wiues. As [gap]ld and other like mettals are tryed by the fire, ſo loue by [gap]ictions and croſſes.

§. 71. Of combats in pretence of wiues honour.

Contrary in another extreme is the ouer-bold and ouer-heady

pretended manhood of ſuch husbands as vpon euery iealous ſurmize and ſleight report, are ready to make challenges of fight, and to enter into ſingle combats and duels, on pretence of maintaining their wiues honour. This being no warrantable courſe of righting a wrong, no honour can redound to the wife thereby, but much diſhonour and danger to the husband. If he preuaile ouer his aduerſarie and kill, he is made guilty of murther thereby, and ſo reproach and ſhame muſt needs come to himſelfe, wife, and whole family: if he be ouercome and ſlaine, ſhe may be reputed more guilty then ſhe was before. And oft it falleth out that God in iuſt iudgement giueth ouer the challenger into his aduerſaries hand, becauſe he hath vndertaken ſo indirect a courſe.

§. 72. Of husbands Conſtancy in loue.

VI. The continuance of Chriſts loue was without date: Hauing loued his owne, he loued them vnto the end. His loue was conſtant (not by fits, now louing, then hating) and euerlaſting (neuer repenting thereof, neuer changing or altering his minde) no prouocations, no tranſgreſſions could euer make him forget to loue, and ceaſe to doe that good which he intended for his Church: note what he ſaid to her euen when ſhe reuoulted from him, Thou haſt played the harlot with many

louers, yet returne againe to me: and againe, My mercy ſhall not depart away.

For his loue reſteth not on the deſert of his Church, but on the vnchangeableneſſe of his owne will. As this manifeſted Chriſts loue to be true ſound loue, ſo it made it profitable and beneficiall to the Church, which, notwithſtanding her many frailties, by virtue hereof is glorified.

This laſt branch muſt be added to all the former branches of an husbands loue, or elſe they will be all in vaine and to no purpoſe. This giueth the trueſt tryall of ſound loue. Such was the loue betwixt Dauid and Ionathan: the ſoundeſt loue that euer was, betwixt partie and partie. This bringeth the greateſt glory to the partie which loueth: and the greateſt benefit to the partie which is loued. That a mans loue may thus remaine firme and inuiolable,

1. He muſt be ſure to lay a good foundation; he muſt

ground his loue on Gods ordinance: and loue his wife in regard of the matrimoniall bond which knitteth them together, and that neere vnion which thence ariſeth; and ſo it will laſt ſo long as that knot laſteth.

2. He muſt further ſupport and ſtrengthen it with an inuiolable reſolution to be changed and altered with no prouocation, but rather to paſſe by all infirmities; indeauouring in loue to redreſſe them if poſſibly he can: if not, to beare with them.

§. 73. Of husbands variableneſſe.

Contrary is their variableneſſe, whoſe loue is ready to turne as a weather cocke with euery blaſt of a contrary winde: now [gap]ender-hearted, then againe hard-hearted: now ſmiling, then [gap]owring: now giuing this and that fauour, then denying euery thing, euen ſuch things as are needfull.

Many whoſe loue was as hot as fire while their wiues were [gap]oung, or their friends liued, or while they pleaſed them, when [gap]hoſe occaſions are taken away, proue in their loue as cold [gap]s ice.

Againe others by ſome continuance in doing good to their wiues, thinke it a burden: and waxing weary cleane leaue off [gap]heir former good courſe; which plainly ſheweth that they ne [gap]er truly and intirely loued their wiues.

By this patterne of Chriſt here propounded to husbands, [gap]e haue on the one ſide a good direction to teach vs how to [gap]ue our wiues, as hath beene particularly declared; and on the [gap]ther ſide, matter of humiliation, in that it ſheweth vs how [gap]re ſhort we come of our bounden duty. Howſoeuer, wiues [gap]ay moſt complaine of their burden, becauſe it is a Subiection [gap]hereunto by nature we are all loath to yeeld: yet I am ſure [gap]e heauieſt burden is laid vpon the husbands ſhoulders: and [gap]uch more eaſie it is to performe the part of a good wife, then a good husband.