Obiect. This title is ſo proper to God, as We are to call none [gap]n earth Father. to §. 12. Of childrens forbearing to doe things without conſent of parents.

Obiect. This title is ſo proper to God, as We are to call none [gap]n earth Father.

Anſw. This is not ſimply to be taken of the title it ſelfe, but of the minde of him that giueth or affecteth that title.

If it be affected or giuen to obſcure Gods Fatherhood, or to make a man a Father of himſelfe without dependance on God, [gap]r reference to him, who is properly the father of all, it is an [gap]mpious and ſacrilegious title. But otherwiſe lawfull and warrantable.

In Scripture the title Father is giuen to all degrees of dignities among men, as to Kings,

Captaines, and other chiefe Gouernours, to Prieſts,

Prophets,

Apoſtles, and other Miniſters. In the fift commandement all ſuperiours are compri [gap]ed vnder it, therefore Father is a title of great honour: and [gap]y the rule of relation Mother is a title of as great honour to [gap]e female ſex. Religious and dutifull children haue euer vſed [gap] giue thoſe titles to their parents. My Father, ſaith Iſaak to Abraham, and Iaakob to Iſaak.

My Mother, ſaith Salomon to [gap]athſheba. I finde alſo the title of Sir or Lord, vſed: a title [gap]f honour.

2. By vſing few words before their parents: and thoſe few [gap]ot without iuſt occaſion, being firſt ſpoken to by their pa [gap]nts, or hauing leaue of them, or making knowne to them me needfull matter: at leaſt not againſt their parents liking, as their parents ſhould be offended thereby. And if they [gap]bſerue their parents to be vnwilling to heare them ſpeake any [gap]ore of ſuch and ſuch a matter, then ought they to lay their

hands vpon their mouthes, as Iſaak (Gen. 22. 7.) and Iaakob (Gen. 27. 12.) This is a token of great reſpect.

3. By meeke and humble ſpeeches. Such was the ſpeech of

Ionathan the naturall ſonne of Saul, and of Dauid his ſon in law, wherewith he was much contented, and his wrath pacified.

4. By obſeruing a fit opportunity: as when parents are not ſeriouſly buſied, or in company, or in paſſion. When Saul was out of paſſion, how well did he accept Ionathans Apologie for Dauid? but in his paſſion, how ill did he take it? This wiſe obſeruing of fit opportunity ſheweth great reuerence.

5. By a preſent, ready, willing, pleaſing anſwer, when by their parents they ſhall be ſpoken vnto. Eli was as a father to Samuel: therefore when Samuel thought that Eli called him, he preſently and readily anſwered, Here am I: and when Eli was inſtant to know what the Lord had ſaid to him, Samuel told him euery whit, and held nothing from him. The younger ſon (noted in the parable) ſhewed a ſonne-like reuerence in giuing a willing and ready anſwer to his father, though he failed in his obedience, by not performing what he promiſed.

§. 6. Of the vices in children contrary to the forenamed reuerence in ſpeech.

Contrary to thoſe branches of reuerence in ſpeech are,

1. Pride: when children ſcorne to giue the title of Father, or Mother, to their parents. This is the minde of many who haue gotten more wealth or honour, then euer their parents had. In publicke eſpecially ſuch children moſt refuſe to giue thoſe titles. Salomon was not ſo minded. He being a great king, ſitting vpon his throne, in ſight and hearing of all his people that were about him, called Bathſheba Mother.

If children had that regard to the honour of their parents which they ſhould, they being themſelues in places of honour and dignity, would the rather openly call their parents Father and Mother, that they might be knowne to be the father and mother of ſo eminent a perſon.

2. Loquacity, and too much importunity, or rather impudency in ſpeech, when children hauing to doe with their parents, can neuer haue done (as we ſpeake) but muſt needs v[gap]

matters to the very vttermoſt. Many parents are oft much prouoked hereby. It skilleth not that the childe haue the right, eſpecially in a matter of no great conſequence. For reuerence ſake the childe muſt forbeare, at leaſt for a time. And if the matter of difference be weighty, as in points of religion, the child muſt either take ſome other opportunity of better informing his parent, or elſe get ſome other wiſe friend to doe it.

3. Stoutneſſe, when children anſwer their parents as if they were their equals: giuing word for word. It doth as ill become children to anſwer againe, as ſeruants (to whom the Apoſtle hath expreſly forbidden it, Tit. 2. 9.) Both law and nature forbiddeth children to be prouoked hereunto, by any thing that their parents ſay or doe; how great then is their fault who giue ſcornefull and ſtout words to their parents when they are no way prouoked, as the elder ſonne noted in the pa [gap]able, and the elder brother of the prodigall childe?

4. Indiſcretion, when children haue no reſpect to any time, buſineſſe, or temper, of their parents in ſpeaking to them, and ſo, much prouoke them. It is laid downe as a caueat to parents, that they prouoke not their children to wrath. How much more muſt children obſerue that cauear?

5. Stubborneſſe, when children pout, loure, ſwell, and giue [gap]o anſwer at all to their parents. This is too common a fault in children, and many parents are much offended and grieued [gap]hereat. We heard before of a childelike ſilence which was [gap]ery commendable, and a token of great reuerence; but this is worthy of much blame, a token of great vndutifulneſſe; and carefully to be avoided, as that to be practiſed.

§. 7. Of childrens reuerend ſpeeches of their parents.

So true and intire ought that reuerend reſpect to be which children beare to their parents, as their ſpeech not only to them [gap]efore their faces, but alſo of them behinde their backes, muſt [gap] ſo framed both for matter and manner, when they haue any [gap]caſion to fall into ſpeech of their parents, as all that heare [gap]em may note them to beare a reuererend reſpect to their [gap]rents.

As a generall direction for the better performing of this [gap]ty, let children ſpeake nothing of their parents that they

would be loath ſhould come to their parents eare. More particularly, let them ſpeake of thoſe things which moſt tend to their commendation, that ſo (as Chriſt ſaid of his father ) they may honour their parents. Let other things be buried in ſilence ſo much as in them lieth. And if others ſpeake of matters diſgracefull to their parents, let them interpret in the better ſenſe things doubtfull, and, ſo farre as they may, extenuate things euident, and ſharply reproue them that ſlander their parents. This is that bleſſing which children owe to their parents, for neglecting whereof the wiſeman taxeth children ſaying, There is a generation that doth not bleſſe their

mother.

Contrary to that kinde of bleſſing is diſcouering of parents infirmities, noted in curſed Cham, and broaching vntruths of them, noted in impious Abſolom, and mocking and curſing them expreſly condemned. The reward whereof is by Gods law death: yea a ſhamefull and ignominious death, for the Rauens of the valley ſhall plucke out his eies, and the young Eagles ſhall eat it: which phraſe ſetteth forth the end of a notorious malefactor that is hanged.

§. 8. Of a childs reuerend cariage to his parent.

As the ſpeech, ſo the cariage of children towards their parents muſt be ſeaſoned with reuerence: for

• 1. This is a fruit, and proofe of filiall feare as well as that.

• 2. Of the two, this is the ſurer euidence: for actions are better ſignes of the diſpoſition of the heart then words.

• 3. Faire words ioyned with contrary deeds, cannot but be accounted meerely complementall and hypocriticall.

• 4. Where there is a contrariety betwixt words and deeds, the one will be a witneſſe againſt the other, and that mans condemnation the greater.

Wherefore let all reuerence be manifeſted in childrens behauiour to their parents, and that in theſe and ſuch like inſtances.

1. If a parent be comming to a childe, and the childe obſerue it, let him haſte to meet his parent: ſo did Ioſeph to his father, and Salomon to his mother. Which two examples

are the rather to be noted, becauſe both were in eminent place: one a great gouernour, the other a king.

2. Let ſuch child-like obeiſance be performed as becommeth the age and ſex, either in going to, remaining before, or going from a parent: as vncouering the head, bending the knee, bowing the body, ſtanding vp, with the like. The two forenamed eminent perſons, Ioſeph and Solomon, bowed, the one to his father, the other to his mother.

3. Let the countenance, and geſture of the body be ſo ſoberly and modeſtly ordered in the preſence of the parent, as may argue due reſpect.

4. Let the vpper place, and hand be giuen to parents: and if occaſionally a childe be aboue his parent, let him come below him. For that is a manifeſt token of inferiority and ſubiection. What maketh men to ſtriue for the vpper hand, but becauſe they would be accounted better then thoſe with whom they ſtriue? But that ought not to be the minde of children to their parents.

Queſt. What if children be in eſtate more wealthy, or honourable then their parents, are they then to giue the hand to them?

Anſw. No honour is comparable to the dignity of fatherhood: it giueth a greater eminency to the parent ouer his childe, then any other honour can to the childe ouer his parent. I grant that a childe may by ſome office, and outward dignity be ſo aduanced aboue his father, as other men may more honour and reuerence the childe, and giue the vpper place to him: and for order ſake the childe may and ought to take it in company: but when they are alone, the childe muſt rather reuerence the father.

5. According to the cuſtome of the time and place wherein they liue, let children aske their parents bleſſing.

§. 9. Of childrens asking their parents bleſſing, whether it be lawfull or no.

Some doubt is made of this duty both in regard of the thing it ſelfe, and alſo of the geſture of kneeling vſed in the performance thereof: I will therefore diſtinctly proue both.

For the thing, it is noted of Iaakob that he carried ſauory

meat to his father, that he might bleſſe him: and of Ioſeph, that he went to his father, and carried his two ſonnes with him, that his father might bleſſe both him and them: for which end the twelue ſonnes of Iaakob aſſembled to their father.

Obiect. Theſe were extraordinary examples: the Patriarchs were indued with the ſpirit of propheſie, whereby they reuealed to their children what their eſtate ſhould be in the times to come: for knowledge whereof their children came to them.

1. Anſw. Their bleſſings were more then predictions of things to come: they were confirmations and aſſurances to the children that God would indeed performe that bleſſing which their parents had pronounced. For they ſuſtained a double perſon: the perſon of a Prophet, and of a father; as prophets they foretold things to come: as fathers they obtained the bleſſings pronounced, and an aſſurance thereof to their children, and that by faith and praier.

2. Anſw. Though all parents cannot with ſuch an extraordinary ſpirit aſſure vnto their children any diſtinct particular bleſſing, yet the faithfull praier of parents is an eſpeciall, and ordinary meanes to obtaine a bleſſing from God vpon their children: and that becauſe of Gods promiſe which extends it ſelfe not only to fathfull parents, but alſo to their ſeed. Wherefore as the children of the patriarches came to their fathers to be aſſured of ſome extraordinary bleſſing, ſo may other children goe to their parents as a meanes to obtaine an ordinary bleſſing. It is noted of Eliah that by an extraordinary ſpirit in praier he obtained extraordinary matters: Yet the Apoſtle ſetteth forth that example to all Chriſtians as a motiue to ſtirre them vp in faith to pray for ordinary bleſſings. But for further clearing of this point, note the phraſe vſed in the fift commandement as a reaſon to moue children to honour their parents: this it is word for word, That they may prolong thy daies, &c. how can parents prolong their childrens daies, but by begging that bleſſing of God? The praiers then of parents are a great bleſſing to children, and children ought to ſeeke this bleſſing of their parents.

Obiect. If parents be wicked, their praier is abomination:

what bleſſing then can children looke for from wicked parents?

Anſw. Though God heare not wicked parents in loue and goodneſſe to themſelues, yet for the good of their children he may and will heare them: and that the rather to maintaine a reuerend reſpect of parents in the heart of their children. For asking a bleſſing is an acknowledgement of ſuperiority and authority, according to that of the Apoſtle, The leſſe is bleſſed

of the greater.

Concerning the geſture of kneeling, it is anſwerable to the geſture which of old was vſed by Gods people in like caſe: of Ioſeph it is ſaid that he bowed downe himſelfe with his face to the earth.

Obiect. Kneeling is a geſture proper to Gods worſhip.

Anſw. It is not ſo proper, but that it may be vſed in ciuill caſes: elſe Chriſt would haue reproued the young man for kneeling before him as well as for calling him good: for he conceiued Chriſt to be but a meere man, and the worſhip he did him was but ciuill.

It is not ſimply the geſture, but the occaſion of the geſture, the minde of him that performeth it, and the end why he performeth it that maketh it diuine, or ciuill. Cornelius fell down before Peter with conceit of ſome diuine excellency in him, and was not allowed: his manner of worſhiping was diuine. The iaylor fell downe before Paul and Silas in acknowledgement of ſome outward eminency in them, and was not reproued: his manner of worſhipping was meerely ciuill. The ſame geſture may be performed to different perſons with a different reſpect. A childe may kneele to his parent, and to the king. Yet it followeth not that he maketh his parent a king. Neither will it follow that by kneeling to his parent he maketh him a God, becauſe men kneele to God.

§. 10. Of the vices contrary to childrens reuerend geſture towards their parents.

Contrary to the forenamed branches of reuerend geſture, are,

1. Rudeneſſe and vnmannerlineſſe, when children know not how to put difference betwixt their parents and ſtrangers, but can

ſuffer their parents to come to them, and they abide in their place and not ſtirre to meet them.

2. Diſdainfull ſtatelineſſe, when they thinke much to ſtand bare-headed any while in their parents preſence. It falleth out many times, that when parents and children are together before their betters, they will ſhew more reuerence then theſe: for the father will ſtand, and be vncouered, when the ſonne ſitteth downe and puts on his hat, vpon conceit that his father doth more reuerence then is meet: but if it were ſo, yet the ſonne for the fathers ſake ſhould ſtoope ſomewhat the lower.

3. Wantonneſſe and boldneſſe, when children are ouer-familiar with their parents: toying and gigling vpon euery light occaſion. This kinde of cariage cannot but much tend to the diſgrace and diſhonour of parents. For what can they who behold it thinke, but that ſuch children haue beene too much cockered and ill nurtered?

4. Ambition, when children are ſo ambitiouſly deſirous of place, eſpecially in companie, as rather then be vnder ſome whom they ſuppoſe to be at leaſt their equals, they will be aboue their parents. This oft falleth out, when parents being of a lowly minde, giue place to ſuch as their children, being of a lofty minde, thinke meaner then themſelues. Now rather then they will be vnder their inferiours (as they ſuppoſe) they will be aboue their parents. A point of great inſolencie. Such ought to be the reſpect of a childe to his parent, as he ſhould debaſe himſelfe below thoſe that are his inferiours, rather then exalt himſelfe aboue his parent. As with other men, for peace ſake, in many caſes, a man muſt depart from his right; ſo eſpecially with his parent, in caſe of ſuperioritie. Would not euery one that knowes what honour a childe owes to a father, condemne that childs ambition, that ſhould ſo ſtand vpon the place and hand, as to take them of his parent?

5. An ouer-nice and erroneous opinion of thoſe, who thinke it vnmeet for any childe to aske their parents bleſſing. Their owne conceit more ſwayeth them, then the continuali approued practiſe of Gods people in all ages: not vnlike him whom Solomon ſaith to be wiſer in his owne conceit, then ſeuen men that can render

a reaſon. Others, though they doe not ſo generally disa[gap]ow this

dutie, yet they thinke it meet only for yong children: not conſidering of what yeeres, ſtature, and ſtate, Ioſeph was, when he performed it.

As for thoſe, who thinke it not vnlawfull, yet careleſly neglect it, they little conſider the benefit of a parents bleſſing. Profane Eſau ſhall another day riſe vp in iudgement againſt them. He beggd and beggd againe and againe, and that with a loud cry and ſalt teares, a bleſſing of his father.

Thus much of childrens reuerence. Their obedience followeth.

§. 11. Of childrens obedience.

The obedience of children doth moſt proue the authoritie of parents, and is the ſureſt euidence of the honour a childe giueth to his parent: therefore is it by name in the text expreſſed, and all other duties are compriſed vnder it. Reuerence without obedience is a meere mockage, nothing at all acceptable. Of the two, a childe were better faile in the former: inſtance the parable of the two ſonnes. Reuerence in compariſon of obedience is but a complementall honour. Obedience is a true reall honour; the ſureſt triall of a dutifull childe. Obedience is a dutie ſo proper to children, as the Apoſtle applieth it to them as a proper attribute, ſaying, as obedient children faſhion not, &c. The example of Chriſt is herein ſet before vs as a patterne: he was ſubiect to his parents. Solomon counteth the neglect thereof a deſpiſing of a parent.

Contrary is diſobedience and rebellion: the greateſt impeachment of parents authoritie that can be. For to what end is authoritie ouer thoſe who reſiſt it, and rebell againſt it? The Apoſtle reckoneth diſobedient children among the lewdeſt perſons that be: and ſetteth forth their diſobedience by a metaphor taken from vntamed, head-ſtrong beaſts, that will not be brought vnder the yoke: the word therefore is not vnfitly tranſlated vnruly: and it is ſomewhat anſwerable to an Hebrew phraſe giuen to diſobedient children, viz. ſonnes of Belial, which is according to the notation as much as ſonnes without profit; or, as ſome will haue [gap]it, ſonnes without yoke, that is, ſuch children, as refuſing to be in ſubiection vnto parents, are no way profitable, but worke much

miſchiefe, and cauſe great griefe. The puniſhment which by Gods law was appointed to diſobedient and rebellious children, was a publike ſhamefull death.

§. 12. Of childrens forbearing to doe things without conſent of parents.

That children may the better know their dutie in this reſpect, I will diſtinctly ſet forth, both the parts, and alſo the extent of a childs obedience:

• 1. Wherein it conſiſteth.

• 2. How farre it extendeth.

The generall parts wherein it conſiſteth are two:

1. A forbearance from doing things without conſent of parents.

2. A performance of ſuch things as parents will haue done.

The former of theſe is a dutie whereunto children are muſt bound while they are vnder their parents gouernment. For that time the conſent of parents is not only meet, but neceſſarie: and that for theſe reaſons.

1. Children are as the goods of their parents, wholly in their power, to be ordered and diſpoſed by them. On this ground Satan hauing all that Iob had put into his hand, tooke libertie ouer his children as well as ouer his goods and chattell.

2. Children while they be vnder gouernment, (euen the eldeſt that are heires) differ nothing from ſeruants.

3. By Gods law giuen to the Iewes, parents had power to ſell their children.

4. Parents had power to diſanull ſuch things as children had done. Inſtance the caſe of a vow made to God, which was one of the moſt inuiolable things that one could doe.

Contrary is the opinion and practiſe of many, who hold parents conſent at the moſt but a matter of conueniencie: that it is good, if children will, to haue their parents conſent: if they haue it not, the matter is not great: their contracts or other things which they doe, are as firme, and good, without, as with their conſents. If this were ſo, wherein is the authoritie of a parent more then of a wiſe experienced friend? It is meet, and good to haue ſuch an ones conſent.

But that the power of parents, and dutie of children in this

point, may the better be ſeene, I will exemplifie it in fiue particular caſes. 1. Entring into a calling. 2. Making mariage. 3. Diſpoſing of goods. 4. Ordering apparell. 5. Making vowes.