§. 27. Of parents neglect in nurturing children. to Obiect. This dutie appertaineth to Miniſters.

§. 27. Of parents neglect in nurturing children.

Contrary to good nurture is too much liberty: which oft bringeth much woe, and vtter ruine vpon children: it is the greateſt enemy that can be of good education, and the nurſe of all vice Yet many parents care not to let their children liue as they liſt: all the care they take, is that they be fed and apparelled. This is a common fault both of rich, and of poore parents. The rich pretend that their children need no education, becauſe they haue enough to leaue them: not knowing

that education is an eſpeciall meanes to make them keepe and well vſe that enough. The poore pretend that they are not able to bring vp their children to any thing: not conſidering that the Lord by his prouidence hath ſo ordered the affaires of men, that as there are fit imployments for the greateſt, ſo alſo for the meaneſt, which without much coſt may be vſed. The fault therefore wholly reſteth in the negligence of parents. And if thereupon children fall into any riot, their parents ſhall anſwer for it.

§. 28. Of parents teaching their children good manners.

The nurturing of children before mentioned conſiſteth

• 1. In teaching them good manners.

• 2. In training them vp to a good calling.

Not only heathen men, and other moraliſts which were but meere naturall ciuill men, but alſo the Holy Ghoſt himſelfe hath preſcribed many rules of good manners, and much vrged and preſſed the ſame.

1. The word nurture mentioned by the Apoſtle in this text which we haue in hand, implieth as much: and the phraſe which Solomon vſeth, Traine vp a childe in the way he ſhould goe: that is, teach him how to order the courſe of his life.

2. The many precepts of reuerencing our ſuperiours, and carying our ſelues with reſpect one to another, are rules of good manners. Hereof there be very many in ſcripture.

3. Thoſe rules are commended by many examples of holy men recorded in Scripture.

4. Such as haue failed in the rules of good manners, and rudely carried themſelues, are reproued by the Holy Ghoſt.

Neither is it without good reaſon that this point is ſo ſet forth. For

1. Good manners are a very comely and ſeemely thing. But it beſeemeth Chriſtians to doe all things decently. That decency is not only to be applied to the affaires of Gods Church, but alſo to the whole courſe of our life, in which reſpect we are commanded to walke

decently, that is, to order all our actions and the whole courſe of our life mannerly.

2. They are a thing of good report, and that both to parents and children: Now we muſt doe all things that are of good report.

3. They worke a kinde of delight, and loue, and admiration, in thoſe that behold them, as is noted of the Queene of Sheba when ſhe beheld the comely cariage of Solomons ſeruants: and of the Egyptians when they beheld the orderly ſitting of Ioſephs brethren.

4. They are an outward ornament to piety and religion, and make it to be much more reſpected: in which reſpect S. Peter exhorteth beleeuing wiues well to order their conuerſation before infidell husbands: and S. Paul exhorteth all ſorts of chriſtians to walke decently toward them that are without.

The Holy Ghoſt hauing thus vrged the point of good manners, we may not thinke it a meere complementall matter, and a needleſſe point, but a bounden duty.

§. 29. Of the obiections againſt good manners.

1. Obiect. Religion and grace conſiſteth not in good manners: many that haue not a ſparke of Gods feare in their hearts, are able to carry themſelues in their outward behauiour very orderly and mannerly.

Anſw. Though grace conſiſt not wholly in it, yet cannot grace well be without it: it is a great ornament and comelineſſe thereunto. And though mannerlineſſe may be ſeuered from a feare of God, yet Gods feare will not be ſeuered from it. Reſtraining grace may be in him who hath no renewing grace: but renewing grace preſuppoſeth reſtraining grace, euen as reaſon preſuppoſeth ſenſe, though ſenſe may be without reaſon. If ſuch as feare not God can carry themſelues comely and mannerly, what a ſhame is it for ſuch as ſeeme to feare God, not to doe ſo? ſhall not thoſe be a witneſſe againſt theſe?

2. Obiect. Good manners are an hinderance to grace: they who are moſt diligent in teaching or practiſing the one, are commonly moſt negligent in the other.

Anſw. This is a meere cauill. Sure I am that grace is no hinderance to good manners. If any make good manners an hinderance to grace, it is their fault.

3. Obiect. Good manners to grace are as mint, anniſe and cummin, to the great and weighty things of the law.

Anſw. Grant it to be ſo: yet ſeeing both may ſtand together, why ſhould they be ſeuered? Chriſts rule is this, Theſe

things ought ye to haue done, and not to leaue the other vndone.

4. Obiect. Many that make great ſhew of religion are very rude, and vnmannerly.

Anſw. If there be onely a ſhew of religion in them, no maruell that they haue no manners. If ſome examples of ſuch as are truly religious and want good manners ſhould be ſhewed, their patterne is no preſident, much leſſe can it proue that to be no duty which Gods word hath ſet downe for a duty. Many that well performe ſome duties, much faile in other duties. Who almoſt followeth Gods word as he ſhould in euery thing?

§. 30. Of parents ſuffering their children to be rudely brought vp.

Contrary to parents care in teaching their children good manners, is diſſoluteneſſe: when parents ſuffer their children to grow vp in rudeneſſe, not caring how they carry themſelues at home or abroad, toward their parents, or toward others. Rude bringing vp maketh children to be of a crooked, peruerſe, ſtubborne, churliſh, furly, doggiſh diſpoſition; as on the other ſide, good nurture in this kinde breedeth in genuity, amiableneſſe, curteſie, and kindneſſe. If ſuch as are rudely brought vp be children of profeſſors of the true religion, they bring a ſtaine vpon their profeſſion: yea they diſhonour God, as if he were the author of vnmannerlineſſe and confuſion, againſt which the Holy Ghoſt proteſteth: and they make themſelues and their children a ſcorne in the eie and mouth of profane perſons, who will be ready to point and ſay, Behold the children of profeſſors, how rudely they are brought vp, and ill taught: they haue not ſo much as good manners in them.

For auoiding this blemiſh, Schoole-maſters and all ſuch as haue the charge of trayning vp young children, muſt bean helpe to parents in teaching children good manners.

§. 31. Of parents training vp their children to ſome good calling.

The ſecond branch of good nurture is a training vp of children vnto a good calling. This charge (traine vp a child in

the way that he ſhould go[gap]) directly condeth to this purpoſe. This duty hath from the beginning of the world beene performed

by parents, and their performance thereof commended by the holy Ghoſt. Adam brought vp his ſonnes to ſeuerall callings: one was a keeper of ſheepe, another a tiller of ground. The like is noted of Iaakobs ſonnes, Labans, and Reguels daughters, Iſhas ſonne, and many others.

Much good may from hence ariſe to parents themſelues, to their children, and to the people and places where ſuch children ſhall liue.

1. A good calling is an eſpeciall meanes for children to maintaine themſelues and family, to releeue thoſe that ſtand in need, to eaſe their parents, and (if the need of parents require it) to releeue and maintaine them.

2. It is that way wherein Gods Angels haue a charge to keepe them while they walke in it.

3. It is a meanes wherein and whereby they may be ſeruiceable to the common wealth where they liue.

4. It is the beſt place wherein the generall duties of Chriſtianity may be moſt manifeſted, and beſt performed.

5. It is the beſt ordinary meanes that can be preſcribed to keepe a childe from the vanities of youth, from immoderate purſuit of pleaſures, from vnlawfull games, from idleneſſe, from ill company, and ſuch like euils; which, as they are ſinnes in themſelues, ſo occaſions and prouocations to other moſt [gap]grieuous and enormous ſinnes, and proue to be the very [gap]bane of youth.

Obiect. Many parents haue good lands to leaue to their children: what need is there of a calling to ſuch?

Anſw. 1. Much land may ſoone be conſumed by ſuch as haue not skill well to vſe it.

2. Maintenance is but one end of a calling, and that not the chiefeſt and moſt principall.

3. More good may be done by skill in a calling, then by great ſtore of land.

4. We are borne for others as well as for our ſelues: it is not therefore ſufficient to ſay I haue enough to maintaine my ſelfe.

§. 32. Of parents care in chooſing a fit calling for their children.

The point in generall being declared to be a dutie, I will adde ſome directions for the better performing of it.

1. Children are to be trained vp in thoſe things which are the ground worke of all callings, as reading, writing, and principles of learning. Whatſoeuer the particular calling be, theſe will be of great vſe to any one. Many that haue not beene taught them at firſt, would giue much for them afterwards. Parents at the firſt might teach their children thoſe things with much eaſe and ſmall charge, which afterwards cannot be ſo well learned, partly for want of leaſure, and partly becauſe the parts of thoſe who are growne in yeares are not ſo freſh and fit to learne, as in child-hood they were. Thoſe things are not to be contemned as ſmall, without which great things cannot ſtand.

2. The calling whereunto children are trained vp muſt be lawfull, approued by Gods word, and not againſt the generall rules thereof: ſo may they keepe a good conſcience in the exerciſe thereof.

3. The calling muſt be fit for the childe that is trained vp to it. As there are diuers callings, ſo there are diuers abilities of ſundry children: ſome are fitteſt for callings of wit and learning: others for callings that require an able and ſtrong body. Wherein the wiſe diſpoſing prouidence of God is much commended: for thus are men much more vſefull one to another. Now for choiſe of a fit calling, a childs beſt ability wherein eſpecially it conſiſteth, whether in the exerciſe of minde or of body, is duly to be obſerued: and alſo his inclination, to what calling he is moſt diſpoſed.

4. Among fit callings (for there may be many) that which is beſt and the moſt excellent is to be preferred. To this purpoſe not vnfitly may I apply that of the Apoſtle, ccuet earneſtly the beſt gifts.

On this ground let parents be exhorted to traine vp ſuch children as they finde fit, to the great and weighty calling of the miniſtery: no calling wherein any may doe more good, and wherein (if they be able and faithfull Miniſters) they can

receiue more comfort and contentment. This exhortation is the more to be regarded, becauſe in compariſon of thoſe who are trained vp to other callings, ſo few are trained vp to this.

§ 33. Of parents faults contrary to their dutie of training their children vp to a calling.

On the contrary, many parents much offend in not training vp their children to a calling as they ſhould. And the offence in this kinde is committed many waies. As

1. When parents ſuffer their children to liue like little maſters at home, and paſſe ouer all their youth in idleneſſe. Thus they proue very drones, and caterpillars in the common wealth: if they haue a patrimony, they ſoone waſte it: if they haue none, they oft proue either theeues or beggars: they are fit for all companies: the readieſt prey for the deuill that can be: for they are like the houſe empty, ſwept and garniſhed, which when the euill ſpirit eſpieth, he preſently entereth into it with ſeuen other ſpirits worſe then himſelfe.

The wiſe law-maker among the heathen is ſaid to order that the childe which by his parents had beene taught no Art, ſhould not be forced to nouriſh them though they were old or poore. This I all eage not to iuſtifie the law (for it is againſt the Chriſtian rule of ouercomming euill with goodneſſe) but to ſhew how the very heathen iudged the neglect of this dutie a great fault in parents.

2. When parents neglect to teach their children in their child-hood the generall and common grounds of all callings: ſome vpon niggardlineſſe; others vpon careleſneſſe. Thus poore men make their children vnfit for many meanes, whereby they might well maintaine themſelues: and rich men make theirs vnfit for magiſtracy, and for good ſociety. Yea poore and rich are thus nouſled vp the more in ignorance, and made the more vnfit to profit by the preaching of the word, and other meanes of ſpirituall edification.

3. When parents bring vp their children in vnwarrantable and vnlawfull callings, as to be of popiſh and idolatrous orders; to attend vpon papiſts; to be ſtage-plaiers, keepers of dice-houſes, &c. Some (which is horrible to thinke of) traine

vp their daughters to be common ſtrumpets: and ſome (which is yet more horrible) traine vp their children to be ſorcerers and witches. How can they in theſe keepe a good conſcience, when the very workes of their calling are ſinne? Is not this to thruſt them headlong into hell? They who thus binde their children to the deuils ſacrileges are ſpirituall murtherers of them.

4. When parents haue no reſpect at all to the fitneſſe of the calling: as when they traine vp children of able bodies, but dull and ſlow capacity, of a ſtuttering tongue and other like imperfections, to learning, wherein they proue very dunces, and loſe all their time, or are not able to make vſe of the learning which they haue: or when they traine vp children which haue a great inclination to learning, and are very fit thereunto, in ſome other trade, which, after many yeeres ſpeut therein, they are forced to leaue.

5. When parents only ſeeke after the moſt gainfull trade, and neuer thinke to educate their children moſt to the honour of God. How can ſuch expect Gods bleſſing vpon the meanes vſed for their childrens good? Hence is it that among Papiſts ſo many are trained vp to Eccleſiaſticall orders and functions: and ſo few among Proteſtants. For there is very great maintenance and reuenues for ſuch among Papiſts: but little in compariſon among Proteſtants:

§. 34. Of parents teaching their children piety.

The ſpirituall good of children, and that in their childhood, is to be procured by parents as well as their temporall. Wherefore Parents muſt traine vp their children in true piety. This is expreſly commanded in my text vnder this phraſe admonition of the Lord. Vnder the law God did both ſimply command it, and that very often, and alſo ordained diuers outward rites, and cauſed many viſible and extraordinary monuments to be ſet vp, that thereby children might be occaſioned to aske of their parents the myſterie of them, and that parents from that inquirie of their children might take occaſion to teach them the ordinances of the Lord.

This expreſſe charge of the Lord is further commended by that practiſe which holy parents from time to time haue yeelded thereunto: inſtance the examples of Abraham,

Dauid,

Bathſheba,

Lois and Eunice, with many others.

1. Pietie is the beſt thing that a parent can teach his childe: for as reaſon maketh a man differ from a beaſt; and as learning and ciuilitie maketh a wiſe and ſober man differ from ſauages and ſwaggerers; ſo pietie maketh a ſound Chriſtian much more to differ from the moſt ciuill and well ordered naturall man that can be. Learning, ciuilitie, calling, portion, are all nothing without pietie. Now it is an eſpeciall point of wiſdome, to ſeeke the beſt good that we can, as for our ſelues, ſo alſo for our children: yea this is an euident ſigne of a parents true loue of his childe.

2. There is a neceſſitie that children be taught pietie, becauſe they are not borne but made Chriſtians: by nature they are vtterly deſtitute of all pietie: for by nature euery imagination of the thoughts of mans heart is only euill continually (Gen. 6. 5.) and in that reſpect man is borne like the wilde aſſe colt (Iob 11. 12.) ſo as a man were better be vnborne then not taught pietie.

3. The charge and office of parents bindeth them to teach their children pietie: for they are by God made watchmen ouer their children: if therefore their children liue and die in impietie through their parents negligence, their bloud ſhall be required at their parents hands: inſtance the example of Elie.

Obiect. This dutie appertaineth to Miniſters.

Anſw. 1. God hath giuen an expreſſe charge hereof to parents, as we heard before.

2. In the familie a parent is all in all ouer his childe: a King, a Prieſt, and a Prophet. Therefore that which a Miniſter is to doe for matter of inſtruction in the Church, a parent muſt do at home.

3 Children haue need of daily inſtruction: the parents paines in this kinde muſt be added to the Miniſters: and both are little enough.

4. Parents hauing more familiaritie with their children then Miniſters, muſt needs better know their capacitie, and their diſpoſition: and ſo may better know after what manner to inſtruct them: whether to giue them milke or ſtrong meat, whether to deale mildly or roughly with them.

5. Inſtructions from parents are commonly more kindly accepted then from others: and children will the better relliſh them, when they come from their parents. They ſay that a plant will beſt grow in the ſoile out of which it firſt ſprung: ſo inſtructions comming from thoſe who both brought vs forth, and firſt brought vs vp, are like to doe moſt good.

6. There is no ſuch meanes to breed loue in a childs heart, as to be an inſtrument of bringing piety thereinto. Now who ſhould more ſeeke the true loue of a childe then a parent? In this reſpect a parent is more bound to this dutie then a Miniſter.

7. It is impoſſible, that a Miniſter, who, it may be, hath many hundred children vnder his charge, ſhould well inſtruct them all: It is therefore requiſite, that each parent looke to his owne children.

As theſe diſtinct anſwers ſatisfie the obiection, ſo they ſerue as ſo many more reaſons to inforce the dutie: wherefore to proceed in adding other reaſons,

4. Great equitie there is that parents teach their children piety, becauſe they conceiued and brought them forth in iniquitie. If they ſuffer them to lie and die in that corrupt eſtate, they are more cruell then the Oſtrich and Dragon.

5. Children are moſt properly Gods: borne to God: he is the moſt proper parent of them: in compariſon of God, fathers and mothers of the fleſh are but nurſes. They muſt therefore nurture them in the admonition of the Lord.

6. Pietie is that, which of all other things, will make the childe moſt obedient, and gratefull to his parents: for thus there is a double bond to binde him: 1. his birth. 2. his new birth: eſpecially when the cauſe of the one hath beene alſo the cauſe of the other.

7. Nothing can more ſettle the heart of a wiſe parent on his death-bed concerning his children, then aſſurance that pietie is planted in them: for then may he with ſtronger confidence commend them to Gods prouidence, and with greater aſſurance expect his bleſſing vpon them after he is dead.

8. Parents, by teaching their children pietie, are an eſpeciall meanes of propagating true religion from age to age, and from generation to generation. No better meanes can be thought of.

For if all parents were carefull of their dutie in this kinde, as there is a ſucceſſion of children, and thereby a preſeruation of mankinde, ſo there would be a ſucceſſion of thoſe that feare God, and thereby a preſeruation of true religion. My children that are taught by me, may be fathers of children, and ſo teach that to their children, which they haue learned of me: yea after them may grandchildren proue fathers of other children, and they teach their children the ſame, and ſo from age to age others after them. This is the meanes on our part: and in our time we muſt doe our part: and for thoſe who come after vs, leaue the iſſue to God.

Not only the great benefit of this point, but alſo the too much neglect thereof, in moſt families, hath moued me the longer to inſiſt on it, and the more forcibly to preſſe it. For the better performing thereof, I will adde ſome directions.