§. 5. Of Adulterie. to §. 12. Of mutuall peace betwixt Man and Wife.

§. 5. Of Adulterie.

The vice contrarie to matrimoniall chaſtitie is Adulterie, one of the moſt capitall vices in that eſtate: a vice whereby way is made for Diuorce: as is cleare and euident by the determination of Chriſt himſelfe, concerning that point, firſt propounded in his ſermon on the mount, and againe repeated in his conference with the Phariſies, where condemning vniuſt diuorces, he excepteth the diuorce made for adulterie.

And great reaſon there is thereof. For the adulterer maketh himſelfe one fleſh with his harlot. Why then ſhould he remaine to be one fleſh with his wife? Two (ſaith the Law) ſhall be one fleſh: not three. The like may be ſaid of a wife committing adulterie.

§. 6. Of pardoning adulterie vpon repentance.

Queſt. Seeing by adulterie iuſt cauſe of diuorce is giuen, may this fault vpon the repentance of the delinquent perſon be ſo forgiuen, as no diuorce be ſought by the innocent perſon, but both continue to liue together in wedlocke as before?

Anſw. Though it be not meet in this caſe, to impoſe it as an inuiolable law vpon the innocent partie, to retaine the delinquent, becauſe of repentance (for we haue direct and ſtrict warrant for it) yet I doubt not but they may ſo doe, if they will, and that without iuſt exception to the contrarie, they ought ſo to doe. For the law of diuorce did not neceſſarily enioyne any to ſue out the bill, but only afforded them libertie to vſe that puniſhment if they ſaw cauſe. I doubt not but for warrant of this libertie, we may take Gods patterne, in retaining Churches and people after they haue committed ſpirituall adulterie: and Chriſts forgiuing the woman that had committed adulterie. For, Seeing Chriſt ſaid to an adult ereſſe, I condemne thee not, goe and ſinne no more, who cannot conceiue that an husband ought to

forgiue that which he ſeeth the Lord both of husband and wife hath forgiuen: and that he ought not to account her an adultereſſe, whoſe fault he beleeueth to be blotted out, by the mercie of God, vpon her repentance?

§. 7. Of the difference of adultery in a man, and in a wife.

Queſt. Is the bond of mariage as much violated on the mans part when he committeth adulterie as on the womans when ſhe doth ſo?

Anſw. Though the ancient Romans and Canoniſts haue aggrauated the womans fault in this kinde farre aboue the mans, and giuen the man more priuiledges then the woman, yet I ſee not how that difference in the ſinne can ſtand with the tenour of Gods word. I denie not but that more inconueniences may follow vpon the womans default then vpon the mans: as, greater infamy before men, worſe diſturbance of the family, more miſtaking of legitimate, or illegitimate children, with the like. The man cannot ſo well know which be his owne children, as the woman; he may take baſe children to be his owne, and ſo caſt the inheritance vpon them; and ſuſpect his owne to be baſely borne, and ſo depriue them of their patrimony. But the woman is freed from all ſuch miſtakings. Yet in regard of the breach of wedlocke, and tranſgreſſion againſt God, the ſinne of either partie is alike. Gods word maketh no diſparity betwixt them. At the beginning God ſaid of them both, they two ſhall be one fleſh: not the woman only with the man, but the man alſo with the woman is made one fleſh. Their power alſo ouer one another in this reſpect is alike. If on iuſt occaſion they abſtaine, it muſt be with mutuall conſent. If the husband leaue his wife, ſhe is as free, as he ſhould be, if ſhe left him. Accordingly the puniſhment which by Gods law was to be inflicted on Adulterers is the ſame, whether the man or the woman be the delinquent, (Deut. 22. 22.) If difference be made, it is meet that adulterous husbands be ſo much the more ſeuerely puniſhed, by how much the more it appertaineth to them to excell in vertue, and to gouerne their wiues by example.

§. 8. Of the hainouſneſſe of Adulterie.

But to returne to the diſcouery of the hainouſneſſe of Adulterie,

I finde no ſinne thorowout the whole Scripture ſo notoriouſly in the ſeuerall colours thereof ſet forth, as it is. For beſides that it is by name forbidden in the Decalogue, it is further expreſly branded to be committed,

1. Againſt each perſon in the holy Trinitie: the Father (whoſe couenant is broken) the Sonne (whoſe members are made the members of an harlot) and the Holy Ghoſt (whoſe Temple is polluted.)

2. Againſt ones neighbour, as the partie with whom the ſinne is committed (for this ſinne cannot be committed ſingly by one alone) the husband and wife of each partie who cannot reſt contented with any ſatisfaction) the children borne in adulterie (whom they brand with an indelible character of infamie, and depriue of many priuiledges that otherwiſe they might enioy) the alliance and friends of each partie (to whom the griefe and diſgrace of this foule ſinne reacheth) the whole family appertaining to either of them (for this is as a fire in an houſe) the towne, citie, and nation where ſuch vncleane birds rooſt (for all they lie open to the vengeance of God for this ſinne) and the very Church of God (the holy ſeed whereof is by this ſinne hindred)

3. Againſt the parties themſelues that commit this ſinne, and that againſt their ſoules, bodies, name, goods, and all that appertaineth to them.

As this ſinne is in it ſelfe a ſinfull ſinne, ſo by the bitter and curſed fruits which proceed from it, it is made out of meaſure ſinfull. For

1. By it husbands and wiues affection (which of all other ought to be the moſt inuiolable) is ſo alienated, as ſeldome it is reconciled againe.

2. By it the goods of the family are much waſted: the adulterous husband ſpending that wherewith he ſhould prouide for his family, on his harlot: and the adulterous wife purloining what ſhe can from her husband.

3. By it husbands and wiues are ſtirred vp to wiſh, and long after one anothers death: and not only inwardly in heart to wiſh it, but outwardly alſo in deed to practiſe it.

4. If from this ſinne there ariſe not a gauling and terrifying

conſcience (as oft there doth) then (which is worſe) a ſeared conſcience, an hard heart, a reprobate ſenſe, and an impudent face.

Wherefore God accordingly deales with ſuch ſinners. In his ſoule he hateth them: by his word he hath denounced many fearefull iudgements againſt them, both in this world, and in the world to come (againſt no ſinne more.) This ſin is reckoned to be one of the moſt principall cauſes of the greateſt iudgements that euer were inflicted in the world: as of the generall deluge: of that fire and brimſtone which deſtroied Sodome and Gomorrah: of Canaans ſpuing out her Inhabitants: of that plague which deſtroied in one day 24000: and of the Iſraelites captiuitie, with the like: By all which we ſee that fearefull doome verified, Whoremongers, and adulterers God will iudge. Now conſider what a fearefull thing it is to fall into the hands of the liuing God.

§. 9. Of remedies againſt Adulterie, and in particular of due beneuolence, and of defect or exceſſe therein.

For preuenting this hainous ſinne (to omit many other remedies which Gods word hath preſcribed, as a diligent keeping of the heart (that luſtfull thoughts proceed not from thence) of the eies (that they wander not on the beautie or properneſſe of any ones perſon, or on laſciuious pictures, or any other like allurements) of the eares (that they hearken not to any inticements of others) of the tongue (that it vtter no vnchaſte and corrupt communication) of the lips (that they delight not in wanton kiſſes) of the hands (that they vſe no wanton daliance) of the feet (that they carry thee not too neere to the place where adulterie may be committed) of thy company (that thou be not defiled with others wantonneſſe and vncleanneſſe) of thy diet (that it be not immoderate) of thine apparell (that it be not gariſh and laſciuious) of thy time (that it be not vainly and idly ſpent) to omit, I ſay, theſe and other like remedies.) One of the beſt remedies that can be preſcribed to maried perſons (next to an awfull feare of God, and a continuall ſetting of him before them, whereſoeuer they are) is, that husband and wife mutually delight each in other, and maintaine a pure and feruent loue betwixt

themſelues, yeelding that due beneuolence one to another which is warranted & ſanctified by Gods word, and ordained of God for this particular end. This due beneuolence (as the Apoſtle ſtileth it) is one of the moſt proper and eſſentiall acts of mariage: and neceſſary for the maine and principall ends thereof: as for preſeruation of chaſtitie in ſuch as haue not the gift of continency, for increaſing the world with a legitimate brood, and for linking the affections of the maried couple more firmely together. Theſe ends of mariage, at leaſt the two former, are made void without this duty be performed.

As it is called beneuolence becauſe it muſt be performed with good will and delight, willingly, readily and cheerefully; ſo it is ſaid to be due becauſe it is a debt which the wife oweth to her husband, and he to her. For the wife hath not the power of her owne body, but the husband; and likewiſe alſo the husband hath not the power of his owne body, but the wife.

I haue my warrant from the Apoſtle to preſcribe this dutie as a remedie againſt adulterie. For to auoid fornication, he aduiſeth man and wife to render due beneuolence one to another. If then this queſtion be moued (How will mariage keep men and women from adulterie?) this anſwer out of the Apoſtles words may be giuen (by rendring due beneuolence:) which he further inculcateth by declaring the miſchiefe that may follow vpon the neglect of this dutie, namely a caſting of themſelues into the ſnares of Satan. Well might he preſſe this dutie to that end, becauſe no other meanes is of like force: nor faſting, nor watching, nor hard lodging, nor long trauell, nor much labour, nor cold, nor ſolitarineſſe, nor any thing elſe. Some that haue by theſe meanes endeuoured much to beat downe their bodies, and ſubdue luſt (but neglected the forenamed remedie) haue notwithſtanding felt luſt boiling in them.

There are two extremes contrarie to this dutie. One in the defect: another in the exceſſe.

Defect therein is, when in caſe of need it is not required, or being required by the one, it is not yeelded by the other. Modeſtie is pretended by ſome for not requiring it: but in a duty ſo warrantable and needfull, pretence of modeſty is (to ſpeake the leaſt) a ſigne of great infirmitie, and a cauſe of much iniquitie.

To denie this dutie being iuſtly required, is to denie a due debt, and to giue Satan great aduantage. The puniſhment inflicted on Onan, (Gen. 38. 9, 10.) ſheweth how great a wrong this is. From that puniſhment the Hebrews gather that this ſinne is a kinde of murther. It is ſo much the more hainous when hatred, ſtoutneſſe, niceneſſe, feare of hauing too many children, or any other like reſpects, are the cauſe thereof.

Exceſſe is either in the meaſure, or in the time. In the meaſure, when husband or wife is inſatiable; prouoking, rather then aſſwaging luſt, and weakning their naturall vigor more then ſuppreſſing their vnnaturall humor. Many husbands and wiues are much oppreſſed by their bedfellowes vnſatiableneſſe in this kinde.

In the time, when it is againſt Pietie, Mercy, or Modeſtie.

1. Againſt Pietie, when no day, nor dutie of Religion, no not extraordinarie daies, and duties of humiliation, will make them forbeare. The Prophets bidding the bridegroome and [gap]ride goe out of their chamber in the day of a Faſt, and the Apoſtles excepting of Praier and faſting, where he enioineth this dutie of due beneuolence, ſhew that in the time of a Faſt it muſt [gap]e forborne.

2. Againſt Mercy, when one of the married couple being weake by ſickneſſe, paine, labour, trauell, or any other like [gap]eanes, and through that weakneſſe not well able to performe his dutie, the other notwithſtanding will haue it performed. [gap] will haue mercy, and not ſacrifice, ſaith the Lord. Shall Gods ſacrifice giue place to mercy, and ſhall not mans or womans [gap]? for ſo I may well terme this vnſeaſonable deſire.

Queſt. What if an husband or wife continue ſo long ſicke, [gap] otherwiſe weake, as the other cannot containe?

Anſw. In ſuch caſes of neceſſitie the body muſt be beaten [gap]wne, and earneſt praier made for the gift of continency: for [gap]redly the Lord who hath brought thee to that neceſſitie, all giue thee grace ſufficient.

3. Againſt Modeſty, when husbands require this duty in that me, which vnder the Law was called the time of a wiues ſeparation for her diſeaſe (Leu. 15. 19. &c.) For what can be expected [gap]m ſuch polluted copulation, but a leprous and loathſome

generation? This kinde of intemperancie is expreſly forbidden (Leuit. 18. 19.) and a capitall puniſhment inflicted on ſuch as offended therein (Leuit. 20. 18.) Abſtinence in this time is ſet in the catalogue of thoſe notes which declare a man to be righteous (Eccleſ. 20. 7.) and the contrary intemperancy is put in the roll of ſuch abominations as prouoked God to ſpue out the Canaanits (Leuit. 18. 28.) and to forſake his owne inheritance (Ezek. 22. 10.)

To this kinde of intemperancie ſome referre a mans knowing of his wife after ſhe hath conceiued with childe. But I finde no ſuch matter condemned in Gods word: neither dare I make that a ſinne which is not there condemned. Certaine Sectaries among the Iewes are branded for this error.

1. Obiect. No other creature will ſo doe: ſo as it may ſeeme to be againſt nature.

Anſw. 1. I denie the argument: though ſome forbeare, yet all doe not.

2. I denie the conſequence: for other creatures are not ſo tied one male to one female, as an husband to his owne wife. Beſides, that which beaſts by nature are tied vnto, muſt be left to mans diſcretion.

§. 10. Of mutuall loue betwixt man and wife.

Hitherto of thoſe common mutuall duties which tend to the preſeruation of the very being of mariage, and are in that reſpect abſolutely neceſſarie. The other common mutuall duties (though they be not of ſo abſolute neceſſitie as the former) are in their kinde neceſſary for the good eſtate of mariage, and for the better preſeruing of that knot: ſo as, if they be not performed, the end and right vſe of mariage will be peruerted, & that eſtate made vncomfortable, & very burdenſome.

The firſt of theſe is Loue. A louing mutuall affection muſt paſſe betwixt husband and wife, or elſe no dutie will be well performed: this is the ground of all the reſt. In ſome reſpects Loue is proper and peculiar to an husband, as I purpoſe to ſhew when I come to ſpeake of an husbands particular duties. But Loue is alſo required of wiues, and they are commanded to be louers of their husbands, as well as husbands to loue their wiues: ſo as it is a common mutuall dutie belonging to husband and wife too: and that is true wedlocke, when man and wife are linked together by the bond of loue. Vnder loue all other duties are compriſed: for without it no dutie can be well performed. Loue is the fulfilling of the Law, that is, the very life of all thoſe duties which the law requireth. It is the bond of perfection, which bindeth together all thoſe duties that paſſe betwixt partie and partie. Where loue aboundeth, there all duties will readily and cheerefully be performed. Where loue is wanting, there euery duty will either be altogether neglected, or ſo careleſly performed, that as good not be performed at all: in which reſpect the Apoſtle willeth, that all things be done

in loue. Loue as it prouoketh the partie in whom it ruleth to doe all the good it can; ſo it ſtirreth vp the partie loued to repay good for good. It is like fire, which is not only hot in it ſelfe, but alſo conueigheth heat into that which is neere it: whence ariſeth a reflection of heat from one to another. Note how admirably this is ſet forth betwixt Chriſt and his Spouſe in the Song of Salomon: and it is further manifeſted in the examples of all good husbands and wiues noted in the Scripture: they did mutually beare a very louing affection one to another.

Though loue be a general duty which euery one oweth to another, euen to his enemie, yet the neerer that God hath linked any together, the more are they bound to this dutie, and the more muſt they abound therein. But of all others are man and wife moſt neerely and firmly linked together. Of all others therefore are they moſt bound hereunto, & that in the higheſt degree that may be, euen like to Ionathans loue, who loued Dauid

as his owne ſoule. Salomon ſaith, He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth fauour of the Lord: which by the

rule of relation is alſo true of an husband, Shee that findeth an husband findeth a good thing, and obtaineth fauour of the Lord. Man and wife therefore are each to other an eſpeciall pledge of Gods fauour, and in this reſpect aboue all others vnder God to be loued. If this be the ground (as it ought to be) of their mutuall loue, their loue will be feruent and conſtant. Neither will the want, or withering of any outward allurements, as beautie, perſonage, parentage, friends, riches, honours, or the like, with-hold or with-draw, extinguiſh or extenuate their loue: neither will any excellencies of nature or grace in other husbands and wiues draw their hearts from their owne to thoſe other: nor yet will the loue of a former yoake-fellow dead and gone, any whit leſſen the loue of the liuing mate.

This inſtance I haue the rather mentioned, becauſe in many, who are farre from ſetting their affection on ſtrange fleſh, their loue of a former husband or wife departed is ſo faſt fixed in their heart, as they can neuer againe ſo intirely loue any other. They who are ſo minded are not fit to be ioined with another yoke-fellow after they are looſed from one. If they mary againe, and manifeſt ſuch a minde, they plainly ſhew that they reſpect this or that perſon more then Gods ordinance. By Gods ordinance man and wife are no longer bound one to another then they liue together. Death is an abſolute diremption, and maketh an vtter diſſolution of the mariage bond. If the man

be dead, the wife is deliuered from the law of the man, ſo as ſhee may take another man. Which liberty is alſo giuen to the man. Being now free, if they mary another (that other being now a true husband or wife) their loue muſt be as intire to that other as it was to the former: yea, and more intire, if there were any defect in the former. For as children maried out of their parents houſe muſt not retaine ſuch a loue of their parents as ſhall ſwallow vp their loue of the partie to whom they are maried, but muſt according to the law, leaue father and

mother, and cleaue to their yoke-fellow: ſo neither muſt the loue of a former husband or wife be predominant when they are maried to another. This other muſt be as cloſe cleaued vnto, as if they had neuer beene ioined to a former. The liuing husband or wife is the preſent pledge of Gods fauour. He is now thine owne husband: and ſhe is now thine owne wife: and not the partie that is dead. I denie not but the memorie of a vertuous husband or wife ought to be pretious to the ſuruiuing partie: for the memoriall of the iust is bleſſed. But as the vertue of a perſon deceaſed may not be buried with the dead corps: ſo neither may the perſon be kept aboue ground with the memorie of his or her vertue: which after a ſort is done, when loue of the partie deceaſed either taketh away, or extenuateth the loue of the liuing. This is to giue dominion to the dead ouer the liuing: which is more then the law enioyneth.

§. 11. Of husbands and wiues mutuall hatred contrary to loue.

There is a generation of ſo crabbed and crooked a diſpoſition as they cannot loue, but rather hate one another becauſe they are man and wife: for many husbands hauing wiues, and wiues husbands euery way worthy to be loued, will notwithſtanding ſay to the aſtoniſhment of the hearers, I haue indeed a good husband, or I haue a good wife: but I cannot loue him, or I cannot loue her: and being demanded a reaſon, ſticke not openly and impudently to reply, I thinke I could loue him if he were not mine husband, or I thinke I could loue her if ſhe were not my wife. O more then monſtrous impudencie! Is not this directly to oppoſe againſt Gods ordinance, and againſt that order which he hath ſet betwixt man and woman? Is it not to trample vnder foot Gods fauour? Though there were nothing elſe to moue loue but this, that ſuch an one is thine huſband, or ſuch an one is thy wife, yet this ſhould be motiue enough. And ſhall this be the ground of thine hatred? Aſſuredly ſuch a ſpirit is a plaine diabolicall ſpirit, contrary to that ſpirit which is from aboue; and if it be not

caſt out, it will caſt thoſe whom it poſſeſſeth into the fire of hell.

§. 12. Of mutuall peace betwixt Man and Wife.

Among other meanes of maintaining an inward louing affection betwixt man and wife, outward mutuall peace, concord, and agreement is one of the principall. Whereupon the Apoſtle exhorteth to keepe the vnitie of the ſpirit in the bond of

peace: for peace is a bond that tieth one to another, and maketh them to be as one, euen one in ſpirit: as on the contrary ſide outward diſcord diſunites mens ſpirits. We are enioined to follow peace with all men: how much more of all perſons ought husbands to haue peace with their wiues, and wiues with their husbands? they are neerer then brothers and ſiſters. Behold then how good and pleaſant a thing it is for them to dwell together in vnity. Dwell together they muſt: but without peace there is no dwelling together: It is better to dwell in a corner of the houſe top then with a contentious woman in a wide houſe. Perſons at variance were farre better be out of ſight and place, then preſent together. Out of ſight and place man and wife muſt not be, at peace therefore they muſt be. Mutuall peace betwixt them is a great refreſhing to their mindes, being beaten with the diſcords of others. It is ſaid that a wife is in this reſpect as an hauen to man (how much more man to his wife?) If the hauen be calme, and free from ſtormes and tempeſts, what a refreſhing will it be to the Mariner that hath beene toſſed in the ſea with windes and waues?

For maintaining peace,

1. All offences ſo much as poſſibly may be muſt be auoided. The husband muſt be watchfull ouer himſelfe that he giue no offence to his wife: and ſo the wife on the other ſide. Offences cauſe contentions.

2. When an offence is giuen by the one partie, it muſt not be taken by the other; but rather paſſed by: and then will not peace be broken. The ſecond blow makes the fray.

3. If both be incenſed together, the fire is like to be the

greater: with the greater ſpeed therefore muſt they both labour to put it out. Wrath muſt not lie in bed with two ſuch bed-fellowes: neither may they part beds for wrath ſake. That this fire may be the ſooner quenched, they muſt both ſtriue firſt to offer reconciliation. Theirs is the glory who doe firſt begin, for they are moſt properly the bleſſed peacemakers. Not to accept peace when it is offered is more then heatheniſh: but when wrath is incenſed, to ſeeke atonement is the dutie of a Chriſtian, and a grace that commeth from aboue.

4. Children, ſeruants, nor any other in the family muſt be bolſtred vp by the one againſt the other. The mans partaking with any of the houſe againſt his wife, or the wiues againſt her husband, is an vſuall cauſe of contention betwixt man and wife.

5. They muſt forbeare to twit one another in the teeth with the husbands or wiues of other perſons: or with their owne former husbands or wiues (in caſe they haue had any before.) Compariſons in this kinde are very odious. They ſtir vp much paſſion, and cauſe great contentions.

6. Aboue all they muſt take heed of raſh and vniuſt iealouſie, which is the bane of mariage, and greateſt cauſe of diſcontent that can be giuen betwixt man and wife. Iealous perſons are ready to picke quarrels, and to ſeeke occaſions of diſcord: they will take euery word, looke, action, and motion, in the worſe part, and ſo take offence where none is giuen. When iealouſie is once kindled, it is as a flaming fire that can hardly be put out. It maketh the partie whom it poſſeſſeth implacable.

7. In all things that may ſtand with a good conſcience they muſt endeuour to pleaſe one another: and either of them ſuffer their owne will to be croſſed, rather then diſcontent to be giuen to the other. Saint Paul noteth this as a common mutuall dutie belonging to them both, and expreſſeth their care thereof vnder a word that ſignifieth more then ordinarie care, and implieth a diuiding of the minde into diuers thoughts, caſting this way, and that way, and euery way how to giue beſt content.