§. 13. Of conſent of parents for childrens entring into a calling. to §. 22. Of miniſters ſinne in marying children without parents conſent.

§. 13. Of conſent of parents for childrens entring into a calling.

I. That children ought to haue the conſent of their parents in making choiſe of their calling, and not place themſelues as they pleaſe, is euident by the approued practiſe of the Saints recorded in Gods word. Iaakob was ſent by his parents to Laban to be educated vnder him. Dauid was appointed by his father to keep ſheepe: when Saul was deſirous to haue Dauid attend vpon him, he ſent to Iſhai, Dauids father, for him. In that Iſhai was [gap]o carefull to ſend prouiſion to his three eldeſt ſons that followed Saul to the warre, we may well thinke, that they went to the warre with his conſent. It is noted of Ionadab, that he appointed his [gap]onnes to dwell in tents, and that accordingly they did ſo, and are [gap]ommended and rewarded for this their obedience. It is collected [gap]oth by ancient and later Diuines, that our Lord Ieſus Chriſt [gap] his younger yeeres, before he began to exerciſe his publike miniſterie, occupied himſelfe in his fathers trade: and that this was [gap]e thing wherein he manifeſted his ſubiection to his parents. This collection is made by comparing Luk. 2. 51. (where his ſub [gap]ction is noted) with Mar. 6. 3. and Mat. 13. 55. where he is cal [gap]d the Carpenter, and the Carpenters ſonne.

Equitie requireth that parents ſhould haue an hand in placing [gap]th their children, becauſe they brought them forth into the [gap]orld, and brought them vp with much care, paines, and charge, [gap]hile they were young, and till they were fit for a calling.

Beſides, Godhath laid it as a charge vpon parents, that they [gap]ould ſee their children well trained vp: great reaſon therefore at parents conſent be had in ſetting forth children to a calling.

§. 14. Of the vnlawfulneſſe of childrens entring into religious orders without conſent of parents.

Contrary is the opinion of Papiſts, who ſay, that children may [gap]er into religious orders, not only without conſent, but alſo a [gap]nſt the minde and good like of their parents. Whereby they [gap] not only patronize apparent diſobedience in children, againſt

the expreſſe word of God; but alſo diſable children from helping their parents in caſe of neceſſitie: for both which Chriſt rebuked the Scribes and Phariſies in a like caſe.

Obiect. Papiſts doe grant that if parents be in ſuch neceſſitie, as they cannot liue without their childrens helpe, their children may not by entring into any religious order forſake their parents. For they are bound by the law of God to ſuccour their parents.

Anſw. 1. This caution hath beene extorted from them by euidence of argument taken from Gods word, and preſſed by their aduerſaries.

2. It toucheth not the principall argument taken from Gods precept, which they make of none effect by this their tradition.

3. Though parents be not at that preſent, when children firſt enter into their religious order, in ſuch extreme need, yet they may be afterwards. But after that children are once entred, they hold it vtterly vnlawfull that children for any neceſſitie of the parent, ſhould attend vpon them for their ſuccour.

Obiect. Children being entred into religious orders may helpe them, as becommeth religious perſons, by their praiers to God.

Anſw. 1. This is iumpe the Phariſies Corban, whereof Chriſt maketh mention, Mar. 7. 11. and whereby he notably diſcouereth the hypocriſie of the Phariſies, who made pretence of religion, an hinderance to that obedience which God required of children.

2. To pray for that which a man indeuoureth not to doe, when he may doe it, is a plaine mocking of God.

The arguments which they alledge for confirmation of their erroneous opinion, are taken from extraordinary examples, or from myſticall reſemblances, as

• 1. Abrahams leauing his fathers houſe.

• 2. Leuies ſpeech of his father and mother, who ſaid, I haue not ſeene him.

• 3. The aduice giuen to the royall Queene, Forget thy fathers

houſe.

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4. The triall of our loue of Chriſt by louing him more then father or mother.

• 5. Chriſts forbidding one that followed him to goe and burie his father.

Anſw. 1. For Abrahams example, 1. it cannot be proued that he left his fathers houſe without the conſent of his father. 2. He was then maried, and ſo of another houſe. 3. He had an expreſſe particular charge of God to leaue his fathers houſe, euen as he had to ſacrifice his ſonne. Except the like charge can be ſhewed, his example maketh nothing to the purpoſe.

2. For Leuies ſpeech, 1. It was noted by Moſes in relation to a particular zealous fact of the Leuites in executing the vengeance of the Lord, and ſo to be reckoned among ſuch extraordinary things as are not exemplary. 2. That which moued the Leuites to make no difference betwixt their parents and others, was the Lords cauſe: their parents and kindred as well as others had notoriouſly ſinned againſt God, and in that reſpect the Leuites took no notice of them. But they are not ſuch parents which Papiſts teach children to forſake, but any parents. Now what conſequence is this; Some children haue been Gods Miniſters in executing iuſt puniſhment on their wicked parents, therefore children may enter into ſuch places as ſhall exempt them from helping any parents, though well deſeruing? 3. The Leuites had an expreſſe charge for that which they did: but that which Papiſts inferre from their example doth make the commandement of God of none effect.

3. For the aduice to the Queene, 1. It is myſtically to be taken. 2. If it ſhould be literally taken, it is to be taken as giuen to her after mariage, when ſhe was out of her parents gouernment. 3. It hath relation to the law of mariage, [gap]nd implieth not a ſimple forſaking of parents, but a preferring of a husband before them.

4. For the louing of father and mother more then Chriſt, [gap]. It doth not neceſſarily imply a forſaking of our parents: [gap]or we may loue Chriſt more then them, and yet performe [gap]uty to them. 2. If they be forſaken, it muſt be in oppoſition

to Chriſt, that either Chriſt or they muſt be forſaken, in that if we cleaue to them they will draw vs from Chriſt.

5. For Chriſts forbidding one that followed him to goe and burie his father: 1. It was becauſe of an extraordinary calling which he had. 2. It is ſet downe as a patterne to Miniſters, to ſhew that they ſhould eſpecially attend vpon their proper function, and leaue other ſecular matters to be performed by ſuch as can performe them well enough. To apply it to childrens forſaking of parents, is to peruert the ſenſe of it.

Thus we ſee to how little purpoſe the forenamed arguments are alledged to proue that erronious opinion of childrens entring into religious orders without their parents conſent. I might further ſhew how irreligious their pretended religious orders be, and ſo ſhew how vnlawfull it is to enter into them, euen with conſent of parents: but that maketh nothing to the point in hand.

§. 15. Of the vnlawfulneſſe of childrens trauelling, and binding themſelues prentiſes without conſent of parents.

Contrary alſo to the forenamed part of childrens obedience, is the practiſe of ſuch children as trauell, and ſeeke their fortunes (as they ſpeake) without conſent of parents, like the Prodigall childe, if not worſe: for it is likely that he forced from his father a generall conſent, in that he obtained of him his portion of goods. Theſe vſually bring great griefe to their parents, and many times make them feare more then is cauſe, as old Iaakob feared, when he knew not what was become of his ſonne.

Among thoſe aberrations may be reckoned a cuſtome in this land more vſuall then lawfull, for children to binde themſelues prentiſes without conſent of parents: to which fault they who take indentures of ſuch children, or otherwiſe couenant with them without knowledge of their parents conſent, make themſelues acceſſary.

§. 16. Of parents conſent to the mariage of their children.

II. That children ought to haue their parents conſent vnto their mariage is without all queſtion euident. For

1. God himſelfe hath giuen vs herein a patterne: He firſt

brought the woman to the man (Gen. 2. 22.) whereby he would ſhew that he who gaue a being to the woman, had a right to diſpoſe her in mariage: which right parents now haue: for from them vnder God, children receiue their being. In this caſe parents ſtand in Gods roome, and are as it were Gods hand to ioyne their children in mariage.

2. God hath giuen expreſſe lawes concerning this point. To omit that generall morall law, Honour thy father and thy mother (which, as it is the ground of all other duties appertaining to children, ſo of this alſo) the authoritie and charge which God by his law (Deut. 7. 3) hath laid vpon parents, to giue their daughters to husbands, and to take wiues for their ſonnes, hath the force of a law to binde children from taking wiues or husbands, without or againſt their parents conſent. This law was not proper to the Iewes only; but as a branch of the morall law it is preſſed vpon Chriſtians, 1 Cor. 7. 36. 37.

To this may be added the iudiciall law (if it be to be accounted meerely iudiciall) of a parents power in giuing his daughter, or refuſing to giue her in mariage to him that had defloured her, Exo. 22. 17.

3. Anſwerable to the law hath beene the practiſe of Gods Saints recorded and approued in Scripture. Iſaak married the wife which his father prouided (Gen. 24. 67.) Iaakob both obeyed his father in going to Labans houſe for a wife (Gen. 28. 2.) and alſo when he came to Laban asked his daughter of him (Gen. 29. 18. &c.)

Though Sampſon ſaw a daughter of the Philiſtims which pleaſed him well, yet would he not marry her before he had his parents conſent, Iudg. 14. 2.

4. Theſe words of Thamar (2 Sam. 13. 13.) Speake vnto the King (who was her father,) for he will not with-hold thee from me, ſhew that children were not wont to be married without conſent of parents: Which is further confirmed by this oath of the Iſraelites, There ſhall not any of vs giue his daughter

vnto Beniamin to wife, Iudg. 21. 1.

5. The ancient fathers of the Church haue in their ages taught children this duty, and pronounced mariages of children without conſent of parents, to be vnlawfull.

6. The very heathen haue obſerued the equity hereof. Though Shechem loued Dinah, and had defloured her, yet would he not mary her without the conſent of his and her father, Gen. 34, 3. &c. Iſmael had learned as much either by the inſtruction he had receiued out of Abrahams houſe, or elſe by the light of nature; for he ſtood to the choice which his mother made for him, Gen. 21. 21.

7. Though Papiſts in other caſes make the authority of parents to be of no effect, yet in this caſe they count it vtterly vnlawfull for children to marry without or againſt their parents conſent: and haue thereupon made Canons againſt it.

8. The law of nature and nations, the ciuill and canon law, the common and ſtatute law of our Land, all manner of law is agreeable to Gods law in this point.

9. It hath beene a cuſtome in all Chriſtian Churches throughout all ages, for the parent, or ſome in the parents roome, to giue the Bride to the Bridegroome at the time of the mariage: whereby the parents conſent is openly manifeſted.

10. Many Diuines of good note and name haue iudged ſuch marriages as haue beene made ſimply without, or directly againſt parents conſent (eſpecially if parents haue iuſt cauſe of exception againſt thoſe mariages) to be of no force till the parent be brought to ratifie them: and in many Churches vpon due examination of the matter, they vſe to account them as no mariages. Experience hath manifeſted the boldneſſe of many children in ſetting light by their parents conſent in thoſe places where mariages once conſummated are ratified, and made indiſſoluble, though they haue beene made ſimply without or directly againſt parents conſent. Many children thinke, though it be vnlawfully done, yet being done it ſhall ſtand. Whereupon if they doubt of their parents conſent, they will caſt how to get their mariage conſummate, ſo as their parents may not know of it to hinder it before it is done: and after it is done, impudently reſolue to beare out as well as they

can, the ſtorme of their parents diſpleaſure. To preuent ſuch contempt of the power of parents, and to eſtabliſh that authority which God hath giuen them ouer their children, mariages without or againſt parents conſent as aforeſaid, are in many Churches made voide.

§. 17. Of the equity of the point, and reaſons why children ſhould haue their parents conſent vnto their marriage.

1. By mariage children are put from their parents: for

Man muſt leaue his Father and Mother, and cleaue vnto his wife. Is it not then great reaſon that they from whom children had their being, and by whom they haue beene maintained and trained vp till the time of their mariage, ſhould haue notice of that kind of leauing them, and conſent thereto?

2. A parents power by the marriage of his childe is paſſed ouer to the husband or wife of the childe. And ſhall ſuch a power be taken away without conſent of parent?

3. Children for the moſt part being heady and raſh for want of experience; and ſeeking more to ſatisfie their preſent carnall deſire, then to prouide a good laſting helpe for themſelues: but parents by the inſtinct of nature louing their children as well as children loue themſelues, and hauing by much experience better vnderſtanding of a meete helpe, and better able to vſe their diſcerning gift in this caſe, becauſe it is not their owne caſe, and yet the caſe of one whom they loue as themſelues, and to whom they wiſh as much good as to themſelues; is it not meete euen for the childs good, that in a matter of ſuch moment as mariage, the parent ſhould haue a ſtroake?

§. 18. Of a childs cariage in caſe a parent prouide an vnfit mate or none at all.

Queſt. What if parents vrge their children to marry ſuch as they can not affect and loue: muſt children therein againſt their minde and liking yeeld obedience?

Anſw. If there be no iuſt exception againſt the partie commended, they ought with the vttermoſt of their power to endeauour to bring their affection to the bent of their parents will: and as an helpe thereunto, be perſwaded that their parents are as carefull of their good as they themſelues are, and

wiſer then themſelues: yea aboue all they ought to make inſtant prayer vnto God (in whoſe hand mans heart is to turne it

whither ſoeuer he will) that he would be pleaſed to alter the courſe of their affection, and to ſettle it on the party whom their parent hath choſen for them; if at leaſt they ſee no iuſt cauſe to the contrary. But if notwithſtanding all the meanes that they can vſe, they ſtill finde their heart altogether auerſe, they may in a reuerend manner entreat their parent to forbeare to preſſe that match, and to thinke of ſome other.

2. Queſt. What if the parent be negligent, and in due time prouide no fit match, may not the childe prouide one for himſelfe?

Anſw. A parents negligence is not a ſufficient pretext to make a child caſt off that ſubiection which he oweth to his parent. Yet I deny not but that a childe knowing where a fit match is to be had, may make knowne as much to his parent (as Sampſon did) and craue both his conſent and help thereunto. And if his parent giue no eare to his humble ſuit, he may vſe the mediation of his kindred or other friends. Yea if neceſſity require that the childe be married, and his parent adde wilfulneſſe to negligence, and will not be moued at all, neither by the humble ſuit of his childe, nor by the earneſt ſolicitation of any friends, meanes may be made to the Magiſtrate (who is in Gods place ouer the parent as well as ouer the childe, and ought to afford releefe vnto the childe) and what the Magiſtrate doth in that caſe is as good a warrant to the childe as if the parent had done it.

The like meanes may be vſed if a parent be an Idolater, Hereticke, or Atheiſt, and will not yeeld that his childe be married to any but to one of his owne profeſſion and diſpoſition.

§. 19. Of the ſinne of Children in marrying without their parents conſent.

Contrary is the minde and practiſe of ſuch children as ouer lightly eſteeming their parents power, take matches of their owne choice: and that ſometimes priuily without giuing any notice at all to their parents: and ſometimes moſt rebelliouſly againſt their parents mind and charge: not much vnlike thoſe

who in the old world are condemned for taking wiues of all that

they choſe (which was one branch of that wickedneſſe for which the world was drowned) or rather like Eſau who tooke ſuch wiues as proued a griefe to his parents. What bleſſing can be expected to fall vpon ſuch mariages? or rather what curſe may not be feared to follow them? Gods law is tranſgreſſed thereby: his Image in parents deſpiſed, that which is more proper to them then any goods; or fraudulently, or violently taken from them: their ſoules grieued thereat: and they oft prouoked to caſt off their children, and curſe their mariages. Now Gods curſe doth oft follow the iuſt curſe of a parent.

§. 20. Of obiections for childrens marrying without parents conſent, anſwered.

1. Obiect. Though Iaakob married one wife according to his parents direction, yet he married other three (at leaſt the two maides) without their conſent.

1. Anſw. Iaakobs example in marrying more wiues then one is not iuſtifiable.

2. Anſw. Iaakob had a generall conſent of his parents to take a wife of the daughters of Laban: if therefore his marying of two wiues had beene lawfull, neither this nor that daughter had beene taken without all conſent of his parents. As for the two maids of whom he had children, neither of them was his wife: for long after they had children they are called his maids, and diſtinguiſhed from his wiues.

2. Obiect. Seruants may mary without their maſters conſent: why then not children without their parents?

1. Anſw. It is not lawfull for ſeruants ſo to doe while the [gap]ate of their couenant laſteth.

2. Anſw. Though the ſeruitude of a ſeruant be greater [gap]hen of a childe, yet a parent hath in many reſpects a greater [gap]ower ouer his childe, then a maſter ouer his ſeruant. The [gap]ower which a maſter hath is by a mutuall couenant betwixt him and his ſeruant, and by the voluntary ſubiection of a ſer [gap]ant vnto his maſter. But the power of a parent is by the bond of nature, in that a childe hath his being from his parents. Be [gap]ides, this ſubiection of a childe to his parents in caſe of marriage,

is not for ſeruitude but for the good of the childe.

3. Obiect. Children marry for themſelues and not for their parents, why then ſhould parents conſent be ſo much ſtood vpon?

1. Anſw. Though they marie not for their parents, yet they marie from their parents: by mariage they are freed from the power of their parents.

2. Anſw. Children are not their owne: they are the inheritance of the Lord: the Lord hath giuen them to parents as an inheritance: a childe therefore may no more marry for himſelfe without conſent of parents, then alienate his parents goods for himſelfe.

§. 21. Of ſtealing children from parents for mariage ſake.

To the forenamed ſinne, and to the vengeance thereof, doe they make themſelues acceſſary, who fraudulently allure, or violently take away children to marry them otherwiſe then their parents would. This is a worſe kinde of felony then ſtealing away the goods of a man. For children are much more properly a mans owne, then his goods: and dearer to him then any goods can be: yea and ſo much more highly to be eſteemed, by how much reaſonable creatures are to be preferred before ſenſeleſſe, and ſenſuall things. Our ſtatute law expreſly condemneth this, and impoſeth a ſeuere puniſhment on ſuch as ſhall offend therein. And iuſtly doe ſuch offenders deſerue to be ſeuerely puniſhed, both in regard of the heinouſneſſe of the ſinne, and alſo in regard of the many miſchiefes which follow thereon, as, Alienation of parents affection from their children, Diſinheriting heires, Enmity betwixt the friends of each party ſo married, Litigious ſuits in law, Ruine of families, and (if the perſonages, whoſe children are married without their parents conſent, be great and noble) Diſturbance of whole townes, cities, and nations. Inſtance the deſtruction of the Shechemites Gen. 34. This is ſaid to haue beene the cauſe of the tenne yeares warre betwixt the Grecians and Troianes, and of the ruine of Troy.

§. 22. Of miniſters ſinne in marying children without parents conſent.

Such miniſters alſo as through Careleſneſſe, not taking due

account of the parties whom they marie, whether they haue their parents conſent or no; or through bribery, being hired by reward, doe marie ſuch children as they know haue not their parents conſent; doe in an high degree make themſelues acceſſary to the forenamed ſinne. Their fact is as bad as the fact of the principals themſelues. Their ſolemnization of ſuch mariages emboldneth both the parties that are ſo maried, and alſo all the perſons that are preſent thereat. They highly diſhonour Gods holy ordinance, in that bearing the perſon of God they ſay of ſuch as God hath forbidden to be ſo ioyned together, Thoſe whom God hath ioyned together let no man put aſunder. If miniſters had not their hand in ſuch vnlawfull mariages, they could not be made: for our Church ratifieth no mariage but what is made by a miniſter. Wherefore ſome miniſter or other is guilty of this foule ſinne, whenſoeuer any childe is maried without conſent of parents. Well therefore doth our Church (to preuent this ſinne) expreſly forbid miniſters to marie any without parents conſent: and inflict a ſeuere cenſure on them that ſhall offend therein.